Reviews for The forces that lie within
DragonKnight2k4 chapter 3 . 4/12/2003
Nice. Great story, keep writing. Can't wait to read more. You've got some good ideas, it should be a great story. Keep up the good work!
royalberry chapter 3 . 4/12/2003
Hey this is pretty good so far but right now it really doesn't seem like a drama/romance, but i'm sure it will end up that way. And thanks for reveiwing my story.
Cindy Moon chapter 3 . 4/11/2003
I'm liking this story even more and more. The protagonists in this so far have great characterisitcs. I love the humor woven in(intentional or not.)

Well I await your next chapter!

-Cindy Moon *)
Cindy Moon chapter 2 . 4/11/2003
Hey! Firstly I'd like to thank you for reviewing my poem. It really brightened my day!

Now on to your story. I really like the way it started out; had that nice fantasy mood to it. Have you read Tamora Pierce? Your work refects some of hers. Great stuff so far!
dusklord chapter 3 . 4/10/2003
Very entertaining story. If your writing skills improve as you get older you will be a writing force to be reckoned with. Keep up the good work.
TDL chapter 3 . 4/8/2003
This Aush caracter is great! He's a brave one to go find his sister all alone. I love the talking horse. Keep it up. I want to know more. )
Faria chapter 3 . 4/7/2003
OOh. I like Aush, too; it's always fun when a character takes the initiative and stands up for what he believes in. I hope you reveal more about the Riders in the next chapter; I'm curious!

(and you're officially on my author alert *is enjoying story*)
Faria chapter 2 . 4/7/2003
"And can you please stop damning the gods?" _ I really like Tatonas; his interactions with Dhamrak sound natural, realistic. Looks like you've got a good world building up!

(Oh, and thanks for reviewing my little story. _)
charmee chapter 3 . 4/6/2003
A fine young lad he is, that Aush. Yuppity.

You showed the motivation for his leaving, and the motivation for the jealousy. Good, good.

Heehee, a talking horse, the wise dude in a story.

Why didn't Haliha defend him when Winon was yelling at Aush? Why wouldn't she know who The Riders of Vagons are? Why is Winon striking and yelling at Aush with the father present, rather than the father himself doing so? Or is Winon put in charge of Aush? Is Winon the head of the family meeting or is the father?

"...his brother sneered. (...)". Good one.

Keep it up! I need this story to satisfy my hunger.
TDL chapter 2 . 4/5/2003
Really good. I love the names! So original. I love it! Kepp on writing, I'm enthralled now. )
woxul-5 chapter 2 . 4/5/2003
Hm...this is pretty good. You have a good handle on description and detail, and your dialogue seems pretty natural. Interesting storyline. Good job.

Please, if you have the time, could you comment on something of mine? I'd appreciate the help.
karmakaze chapter 2 . 4/5/2003
Wow, this is really interesting. You went from like a 100 word story that captured the reader on a real cliffie to this long, elaborate situation. I really like this chapter. Please continue!
karmakaze chapter 1 . 4/5/2003
Cool! I like this! By the way, I updated my story. BTW, this is really good, I'll read more:)
arrowhead chapter 2 . 4/5/2003
wow...what's gonna happen next? you quite a terrific writer, u noe. keep writing and i'll kepp reviewing. HAha
Silverwood Bow chapter 2 . 4/4/2003
One word...AWESOME! I absolutely loved reading this! You are an awesome writer! Keep on Writin! And thanks for reviewing my story i reall appresiate it!
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