|Reviews for To Save a Kingdom|
| SweetRose9 chapter 24 . 3/5/2006
Wow... Great Story. I usually don't review. It's been almost a year since i last reviewed but this one really caught my interest. I think theres great potential for a second story and i would be interested in seeing what you come up with if you're willing.
| Sam chapter 24 . 2/24/2006
OMG I love your story, my eyes hurt now for continuelessly reading it.
| Shoshona chapter 24 . 2/20/2006
I very much enjoyed your story, and I give praise to your excellent vocabulary and adeptness at moving along the plot. I appreciate the prologue and epilogue as a well-executed endeavor to bring the story around full-cycle.
However, I have a few suggestions. I can tell that you sought to make your characters complex and human in the beginning of the story, but this attempt seemed to fade as it progressed. Although Drianna struggled to accept her duty and a new love, her change of heart seemed rather sudden. As for Gadel, his turning was very abrupt, and his sturggle with who he was and who he became was two-dimensional. More flesh and plausibility to these dilemas would improve your story immensely.
My next suggestion is in relation to the setting of you story is the turmoil between two warring kingdoms, the disappearence of Groithiaat the end of the story is questionable at best. Not only was Groithiathe setting for much of the story, and therefore deserving of some sort of rememberance, driving an occupying army out would hardly relieve tensions between two warring nations. I find it difficult to believe that a strong character like Drianna would refuse to recognize the work that comes after conflict. Even including a line like "Although true peace between Danubae and Groithia was a long time in coming..." would be helpful.
I hope that you don't mind the critique, and I hope that it is constructive. Thank you for giving me such a good read!
| naivete chica chapter 25 . 1/13/2006
Heyz! I just wana say that this is a wonderful story, with a beautiful plot. This is actually the second time Ive read it.. but I only realised lyk.. half way though. xD ahaha.. Ive read too many fictionpress stories to keep track. _ Keke.. But both times that Ive read this.. I feel sad at the end. ( I loved Gadel so much! He was such a nice boy. He looked after Drianna, and was nice to everyone. But then his father died.. I felt so much empathy. And then he fell in love with Drianna. How cud she leave him lyk that? *cries hysterically* I dunoo.. I just never warmed up to Shane. When Drianna was captured.. I wanted her to love Gadel again so much! '( wah.. whyd he have to become just a heartless bastard? ( *sigh* I wanted it to be Drianna and Gadel so much! *pouts* Oh wellz. I do wish the ending was different, but I still think this is a wonderful story. Gud luck with other stories, and keep writing!
xxoo n[a]ivete chic[a]
| Juniper Nights chapter 9 . 1/12/2006
| fatsoko chapter 1 . 12/2/2005
I've just started this fic and so far it's awesome...yup. love it.
| Jaz108 chapter 25 . 11/19/2005
Hi, i think this is the best fantasy story ive read here.. ) im really bad at reviewing properly, but i just wanted to say that..
| Kura-sama chapter 25 . 10/30/2005
Wow, very nice. I feel bad for him though ... poor guy. Glad that Shane & Dri are together but ... Poor guy. Sigh. I shall be depressed now.
Great Story though! Good Job
| Kura-sama chapter 15 . 10/30/2005
GO Shane! Go Shane! *cheers him on fot the smoochies* XD
| key to the lock chapter 16 . 10/19/2005
Pretty sweet plotline you've got here!
| Abby chapter 25 . 10/14/2005
That was a great way to end the story! That was the perfect epilouge. I was so happy when I saw that the story was completed, so I didn't have to wait for any chapters. Props to your early reviewers.
| awaitinglove chapter 25 . 9/23/2005
Wow, this story was FANTASTIC! You are a great writer! Keep it up!
| DayLightsDarkness chapter 25 . 8/28/2005
The ending is mad hot; it's there son and he is King now; that's just plain hot. I really like this story a lot; it has many details and a lot of love in it and that's the way i like it. You couldn't of wrote it better. :)
| DidntCryOnce chapter 25 . 8/5/2005
Hey there.. I've read this story and each time I absolutely loved it. It would be terribly fantastic if you could make a sequel. Welps, great writing and hopefully I'll be reading some more of your stories. -Stephani
| Silver Scaled Dragon chapter 1 . 8/5/2005
This is one of the best stories I've read on fictonpress! It's fab!