Reviews for To Save a Kingdom
AEJ325 chapter 6 . 3/17/2009
Man, I'm completely in love with this stor it's great.

I can't believe it's only the 5th chapter. It seams like it should be well into the book by now.
earlkgm chapter 2 . 3/12/2009
the foreshadowing in the last sentence mad me sad. :(

but good use of it. :)
AJ southern chapter 24 . 3/10/2009
Aw so good and so sweet! Definately love this re-write! Sequel? Well done. : )
Uniquely Proud chapter 24 . 3/9/2009
A great ending to a lovely story! :D
autumn-annette-19 chapter 24 . 3/2/2009
Great story, keep up rhe good work.
ukrgrl chapter 24 . 12/30/2008
wow great story :)
terrorofthehighway chapter 24 . 12/26/2008
Okay.

Not much characterisation or character growth, except in Drianna's case when she says no to Galen. And the whole Galen personality change is just so dramatic and unexpected its a Deux Ex Machina.

The Epilogue is just too fairytale like and not very appropriate- it doesn't gel with the rest of the story. An epilogue is to wrap up loose ends.

Drianna's improvement is also quite suspect. Why does she suddenly improve in both temperment and abilities during a few years? The whole story is not very emotional either- it doesn't draw the reader in.

And her mother says stuff like 'Tis' and mingles it with modern speech. It is not very realistic.

However- no major plot holes or grammar mistakes.
terrorofthehighway chapter 9 . 12/24/2008
Just started reading, and HAD to review here...

Sex is going to save a kingdom? What was she thinking? What's the point of having sex at this point in time? It is so anachronistic, that she gets involved just to A) shut him up, B) show that she loves him C) get laid?

She doesn't even say goodbye.

And as a noble, she should KNOW BETTER. Timmy would have told her in either case. Also, doesn't Havara have a practical side? Her personality is too idealistic for a girl who is supposed to be a leader. Why else would she hang around with Gadel?

If you change it, Gadel would say: "not here...dallying with a slave." Which would sound a lot better.

Also: not a lot of character development for Gadel here. Or anyone. And there are too few slaves (three) for a manor of the size described.

On another note: good writing.

Very disgusted with the sex.
justdazed chapter 24 . 12/18/2008
this is amazing. but is there a sequel?

im looking forward to read more of ur writings.:))
BOXCARZ chapter 3 . 12/17/2008
I'm really getting into this story! I'll read more later! I love this story a lot!
BOXCARZ chapter 2 . 12/17/2008
This story keeps getting better and better! You're an awesome author!
BOXCARZ chapter 1 . 12/17/2008
This is good
Estelin chapter 24 . 12/13/2008
this was excellent. keep up the good work and writing.
Amora Lee chapter 24 . 12/10/2008
OMG I LOVED THIS STORY! I didn't think that I would like the parts where Drianna 'betrays' Gadel by falling in love with Shane, but Shane is definately the better choice. :D
Kaybookworm chapter 24 . 10/27/2008
W-O-W! I think that's all I can say. There were parts in your story that were a little discripive, (The Romace scenes) But every other part was wonderful. I kind of hope to see you come back and right again to! Great job!
615 | « Prev Page 1 .. 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 18 .. Last Next »