Yeah this is really good- good description and characters you can begin to get into- sorry if u were offended by that thing but i was at a really bad time- i don't think they are all like that anymore... just some, well one to be particular ;) And there is a fine line between imperfection and down right aiming to sadistically break you up, but hey lets leave that :) Anyway this is - if you e-mail me to tell me when the next chapter is up i will review it!

McD

So far, so good on the rewrite. I wonder why you chose to rewrite it though. The original was good. Anyway, keep it up. I look forward to more.~CT

I love a reference to Toledo Avenue!

First time I've read this...

Your story, for a thriller, seems a little...mannered, such as "promptly regarding me with a frown and a look of concern."