Reviews for La Florida
Kievsky chapter 7 . 4/21/2003
And out of the darkness of the groves comes this...this bright focused beam of a poem, and this man (if he is the same man as before-I'm not sure) has emerged from the pits of loneliness and isolation and is unified with everything again. He's not just controlled by his background and environment but is controlling it,"demanding even the universe to stop contracting." It's not a sad ending, but a very empowered one.

Sorry I take forever to review anything, but for poems like these, I like to read and reread, and absorb all of your language, imagery, and words. Thank you for some savory reading material.
Kievsky chapter 6 . 4/21/2003
"- no body lives here,

at least nobody with colorless

eyes, or slow hands"

Your imagery here is primal, ancient. It's reminiscent of the Nothing that's preserved outside of the big developments and the trafficked cities. Isolation and aboriginal beginnings seem to show up a lot in the series, and this incorporates both nicely. Here it's the groves that live and breathe and care nothing for any of the life around them.
Kievsky chapter 5 . 4/21/2003
Wow, this is all metaphorical, isn't it? Okay, that's probably a stupid question. But this one is definitely more abstract, with the environment unflinchingly reflecting the soul of the man. It's so lonely, but so beautiful.
Kievsky chapter 4 . 4/21/2003
"...breathing heavily the pH

acidic summer"

(great line)

The caps are powerful emphasis. Every phrase in caps I picture being shouted by someone with hair blown around by the wind out the open window of a sports car going 90 down the interstate.

Minor question: As far as I know (which isn't much) "electromagnetivity" isn't a word; should it be electromagnetism or electronegativity?

I like this one too (hell, I like them all, lol). It's fast-paced, and the descriptions give the highway a life of its own.
Kievsky chapter 3 . 4/21/2003
OK, this is going to be completely random, but this reminds me-I spent about...six hours in Key West. It was such a strange place?half is historical and ancient, with little cultural pockets and notable architecture, and the other half is pure tourist tackiness. And I remember the cats, too. Anyway, this poem is kind of like the seedy underground between the two; not quite as prim and distinguished as the historical impact and apathetic towards the tourist fluff. In short it's very Hemingway. I like the image of Brian at the end, the "sportsman" look and the note on courage; he fits perfectly into the world of Hemingway machismo.
Kievsky chapter 2 . 4/21/2003
"There was first Nothing..."

"St. Augustine" is a poetically potent start to the series. Everything about the not-quite-martyrs is so bizarre but so fascinating, and the chronological arrangement is done so well, from the settlement to the fountains/prisons and to the Today that bustles from Nothing. And i...i...I just love it.
K. Hallett chapter 7 . 4/13/2003
::shakes fist:: damn you and your superlative writing...people use words like brilliant to describe it..and it is and for that i shall hate you forever ::breaks down in sobs::...marvelous...WHY AM I AN UNTALENTED HACK!...ahem...anyway, you know you're good when you inspire self-loathing in droves of wannabes who are chartreuse with envy...bravo!

mad dog (aka rosalitalongjacket)
E. Gao chapter 3 . 4/12/2003
shirtsleeves! god, but I would *die* for a man in shirtsleeves. (imagine...paul...shirtsleeves...[squee]!)

[ahem] okay.

I especially liked how you incorporated literary terms..."epigrammatic," "literary sun..."

[squee]! and cats...sunshine. this is the life.

E. Gao chapter 2 . 4/12/2003
it's such a romantic notion - martyrs reincarnated as school teachers...

I suppose it's fitting your case though, eh? _

I love the descriptions in this one...the singing of hymns, fake executions, desert imagery...

and i! ach! [wibbles impotently] i!