Good chapter. Aurion is weary with age but he's still got fire in his belly. I commend him and Talanion for keeping their tempers down this time, but truth be told, I'm eager to see Aurion "lose it" again, since it's so damn entertaining.
Nefertarin's explanation for choosing to stay with her brother was very eloquent and poignant. Truly, there are some bonds that go deeper than we can imagine; her loyalty is astounding, but it's painful to see how often her loyalty is betrayed.
There is a strong sense of impending doom here that you've portrayed very well.

Hello, again.
I feel sorry for Aurion and not sorry for him at the same time. Of course, I pity him for losing what seems to be his one true love, but his centuries of life seem to argue that he shouldn't act so foolishly as to charge Talanion when he's just seen that his Lord won't tolerate stupidity. I don't know. I've always found Aurion a little harder to relate to than I like. Maybe it's just that. But I actually think that Talanion acts more maturely in this scene than Aurion does.
Nefertarin really shines, though. I like the way you've had her make her choice and stand by it, dire though the consequences might be.
I assume it will end in the south?
-Limyaael.

I don't know whether it is just because these chapters are so good to read...or what. They seem to end much too fast. You have an excellent sense of timing with this chapter, I am eagerly awaiting this trip to the South now.
Yes it should be a VERY interesting trip! A threesome to be reckoned with, if they do not kill each other first! LOL!
Take care and keep writing...awaiting the next chapter eagerly
Darwin

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ! Looks like Tal finally got the ass-whoopin' comin' to him! Reminds me of some EARLIER memories *smirks delightedly at domination and spirits and such* I'm glad for them though. Maybe things will go up from here, even if only a little. But I also feel sorry for them. This climax (no pun intended) to their relationship only seems to spell out for me a continuous cycle of tremendous ups and downs that will inevitably destroy them. This scene felt eerily like a reconnection to their childhood, as though it were sort of rekindling a former innocence. I'm referring back to Talanion's dream, and I wonder if you purposely did that. Or maybe it's just me. I only hope they have a good future ahead of them, even if only temporary.
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman

The B.A.T. is back, m'dear, and quite impressed with this chapter's development. I almost forgot how poetic you write. I felt like crying all throughout this chapter. Only you could work such an emotional passage. And I must commend you on bringing up such subtle information. I had all but forgotten that the bond between the twins was slightly more than ethereal, a little aways from material, and yet incapable of being severed. In fact, that was the most beautiful part that I'd read. "But there was no Sun either. And without him, her existence had no meaning." Oh, god, I'm just completely overwhelmed by this chapter. And I found Tal's storming out at the end quite hilarious, lol. What a way with comic relief. It sort of reminds me of a scene in one of my favorite animes, Cowboy Bebop. Excellent chapter. I hope 72 is not your last, and here's to seeing more fighting amongst Tal and Aurion, lol.
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman

They are a very sad couple. You can just tell that at this point, no matter what they do...things will end up badly.
I was glad to see her stand up to him at last...but by ultimately giving in, I'm afraid that she sealed both of their fates.

What can I say to this? Other than . . . what a good chapter. It was so deep and dark and sad . . .

I am glad that Talanion finally admitted out loud how cruel he knows he has been, and that Nefertarin also took control of her own life for the first time - truly took control.

But . . . he didn't tell her how he knew - was he kidding? lol

That last line was very touching . . .

More, please! _

ja,

LoK

The style of the story, upon reflection, is like that a storyteller passes down from generation to generation, ones that tend to have a more objective point of view. Yet Chapter 6 and the end of Chapter 7 added some of that personal touch I wanted by using first person POV through Aurion. I'm still having a hard time connecting with Talanion and Nefertarin, but it's only Chapter 9 thus far. I have a long way to go. I did like the way they each had the same dream yet with a personal twist. That was a nice touch.

I have a question, furthermore, based on a statement from Ch.3: "I was there when the Pentacle Priests Attacked the Dark Moon Shrine of Sadatix, almost two hundred cycles ago. I was one of them, a young novice of Lathrys, the Moon Goddess."

So Aurion is old, yet his appearance is that of a 30 year old? I remember reading something in another of your stories that necromancers age slowly, but I could be mistaken.

It needs more dialogue, more interaction between characters and insight into their minds and opinions. Thus far it's a narrative that lacks the personal touch. It's interesting and well written, that I can't deny, but I feel nothing for any of the characters so far.

It's a very detailed world you're creating, but I had to go back and scan the previous two chapters to refresh my memory. The jumps through history are interesting and necessary, bringing insight to the present day, but it also doesn't give me time to settle into the story as much as I'd like. It feels like its moving too fast, although when looking at the present day events it's not. Longer passages when swithcing times might help.

Gee, Chapter Four was short. I'm uncertain, but Sadatix is the Daemon of Death but not Death?

I don't know if you already have such a site, but a glossery of terms, places, people, gods, etc. would be really really nice, especially since you seem to write multiple tales about this world of yours. The trickiest part, though, might be trying to make the descriptions mostly spoiler free.

I must catch up so I can actually be of any use to you when writing new chapters. ::sweatdrop::

heya!

my my.. Nef finally stops being 'trapped' and breaks out eh? nicely done, it's time she lets Tal knows where she stands. Should (hopefully) stop him from being so jealous and pig-headed everytime he misunderstoods a scene.

lovely ending here.. but somehow i guess you have something planned for the couple? something..say.. tragic?

;)

RK

Few *wipes brow* I was really worried Nefertarin would wake up to find Talanion in a drunken rage. Instead, he was just in a regular rage and she dealt with it. I, too, really wish Talanion would get over it. He's not going crazy, he is crazy.

Also, another chapter! Yay! :D

Wow, that was a truly moving chapter, its like tal's almost skitzophrenic, two perspnalities and only nef, can bring him back to his true self. It was a very touching chapter, dark but moving at the same time, the way he abused her, only to have to request it at the end was a brilliant twist! congrats!

Great chapter! I like the title - Dies Irae. It has so much meaning. The phrase is old and has been used by Faust, the Phantom, and even another story here in fictionpress. Anyway, good work and please update.

Woo Hoo! Looks like I caught up just in time for a new Chapter! I am so honored! LOL!

Very good...I'm glad that Nef made her decision finally. I was beginning to wonder there!

I am still dying to see just what all the profecy has in store for our (anti) hero and heroine!

Looking forward to the next chapter! Happy Writing~

Darwin