Reviews for Brother Sun, Sister Moon
Hopechest chapter 2 . 10/29/2003
Seventy chapters and not done yet? I’m curious how complete this tale is. Somewhere in the summary I’d suggest mentioning that the chapters are short, to encourage people to give it a read. I’ve just started, and so far all is good, but expect to see more comments in the near future. My only concern is possible confusion over the names of the tribes, the lands, the continents, the gods and godesses, etc. and their relation to one another. So far it’s handled well, and I’m not confused.

“The tribes had never seen a horse before and the use of cavalry was unknown to them.”

Historical references to the Spaniards conquering the Americas perhaps?
oz shadowskin chapter 16 . 10/29/2003
Very good! I like alot and I'd leave an actual review if I was allowed to go on the internet during class. Sh! Big secret.
Malissa Michelle White chapter 21 . 10/29/2003
I have been reading for quite sometime, but the boreful drain of classes, homework, and work have kept me away. Still, I felt ever determined to review on the very last chapter and give you my full and complete review (it would probably a book itself). But, as you see, that has not happened. Let me just say, in total honesty, that never have the eyes of my soul gazed upon a work of pure art and skill. This is a work to be envied by all writers of the genre and admired by its believers. In short, it's freakin' amazing. I'm glad I've started it because it has given quite an addiction.

Faithfully reading.

Azerix
The baava Project chapter 70 . 10/29/2003
EXCELLENT! Nef began a journey to defeat the Void! _ That was so well done, the way that she argued with herself the whole time she was swallowed up, and what it was that is allowing her to return.

But then, you are so CRUEL! Poor Talanion, poor idiotic, jealous, too-quick-to-decide Tal. hehe I hope you are having less problems and can update again soon! _ Though we may be near the end, I'm still excited to see where you're going.

Oy, short review. Oh well! I loved it, as usual. There were only a couple of parts you may want to fix, where "he" was used when it should have been "she", and vice versa. Kinda made it a little weird to read sometimes, heh.

ja ne!

LoK
Unfinished Author chapter 70 . 10/29/2003
i loved the last line, brilliant portrayl of anger. It's almost finished? *runs in panic circles* no!
shadowycat chapter 70 . 10/29/2003
This just goes from bad to worse for them doesn't it. Poor Nefertarin...what's Talanion going to do now?
zagato chapter 52 . 10/28/2003
This is a very amazing chapter! How innocent and funny. I have to read more.
James D chapter 70 . 10/27/2003
I think this is one of your better chapters, particularly the description of Nefertarin's feelings on coming back. I think that her "conscience" is her real self (Well, thats true by definition, I mean the voices talking to her), the one she had at the beginning, and the weak willed facade shes been displaying lately doesn't reflect her natural state at all.

You should have gone into greater detail with her "resurrection", maybe showing more of her feelings IMHO.

I think Talanion is over reacting and didn't necessarily hear a name at all.

But I liked this chapter.
Limyaael chapter 70 . 10/27/2003
Ah, it really is near the end of the story? I am sad as well, though I had suspected it had to be coming.

Hm. Mixed feelings on this chapter, to be honest. I actually sympathized more with Talanion than with Nefertarin, at least until the end of the chapter. It seems so unlike the strong person Nefertarin has been until this point to blame herself and insist that her brother would never want her back. There are notes of a different song- such as her not regretting her lovemaking with Aurion- but the self-pity puzzles me. Talanion's anger doesn't spring from a more rational motive, of course, but I find I prefer it.

Also, just a sheer factual question: Nefertarin says that she can't hear the spirits in the Void, yet in her first scene she heard them screaming. Was she not in the true Void in the first scene?

The end of the chapter disappoints me, at least in my expectations for the characters. Of course, I think Talanion is so far gone he's probably never coming back to sanity, but the misunderstanding of Aurion's name and his abrupt decision to abandon his sister clash strongly with the tender concern he was showing just a moment before. Again, I'm really not sure if this is an actual flaw in character development, or just the fact that it seems like a usual cliche of romance, the Great Misunderstanding that tears the couple apart, and I hate those.

I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters.

-Limyaael.
giygas666 chapter 70 . 10/27/2003
This is without a doubt one of the most beautiful chapters you've written so far. It was very eloquent and poetic. I see that the time you took to work on this paid off nicely. I can almost feel their gut-wrenching guilt and sorrow and fear; you really love torturing your characters (as do I). The image of the "silver cord" as Nefertarin's only lifeline to reality is especially powerful.

I'm eager to see how things turn out with Nefertarin. Good luck with updating (I know how it is; I've had my share of computer problems in the past, too).
El Wraith chapter 70 . 10/27/2003
Learning about characters in great depth makes me grow attached to them, and their story. Obviously, I've had plenty of chances to learn about Nefertarin before now, but this chapter has taken my understanding of her to a new level.

It bothers me that she can claim to deeply love two different men at once - according to the popular definition of true love, that shouldn't be possible - but her struggles with her own guilt while she floats in the Void makes that divided love a much more powerful thing. I like the fact that she thought of her suffering as punishment for hurting both men, and that her death would set them free. I think more highly of her now that I know she thinks of the ones she loves before herself.

And I really hope that Talanion won't actually be drunk if and when she wakes up. O.O;
Morcar chapter 18 . 10/23/2003
Very cthulhoid, and nowt wrong wi' that. I'm not quite convinced by the way Aurino seems to seesaw between reverance and considerable irreverance in this chapter. One would not have thought that being flippant with a messenger of death is would be a good idea.

I'm also not *quite* sure I like the idea of the messenger's instructions being quite so explicit, particularly because I can't help my inner Mystery Science Theatre adding in little things like

"And you must not tell her that he is her brother"

"Why not"

"Because that would clearly derail the plot."

On the other hand I can see how you really need to give Aurion a cast iron reason not to tell her at this point although he could just try relying on the fact that they seem to hate each other (after all, people who hate each other *never* end up in bed together...)
Morcar chapter 17 . 10/23/2003
A bit brief, but I can see you wouldn't want to get bogged down in tedious bickering, so describing it after the fact is probably the better way to handle it.

I dislike the phrase "increased resistance to elemental magic" on principle. I'm pernickerty about magic and I dislike anything that seems to be putting it in mechanical terms.
Morcar chapter 16 . 10/23/2003
Oh *very* nice. Always good to have a bit of random foreshadowing. My assumption is that the Counsel the king requires is as regards these "Thylari" which, from the various pieces that are gathering together, are assumedly some long-thought-dead sea race thingy

Close?
Morcar chapter 14 . 10/23/2003
This chapter is terribly well realized. I like the fact that they're both effectively masked in their first encounter, not only does it make it easier to avoid having them rcognise each other at once, it also has the obvious symbolic connotations.

One thing bothers me. Why does Talarion *look* like a Dorian. Unless this sort of thing works *really* differently in this fictional world (and indeed there is no reason why it shouldn't) then anybody born Sagate would surely look Sagate no matter where they were brought up, just as an Asian raised by a Caucasian family will still have Asian features. Of course this could be foreshadowing something important (like one of their parents being Dorian) but if so it seems strange that Aurion didn't notice something.
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