Reviews for Brother Sun, Sister Moon |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Looking back over some of these chapters, I can't believe how far we've come! _ This is too much fun to read. Again, I like Nefertarin's behavior in this chapter, especially seen from Nakalla's point of view. It's very interesting, this plot you've laid out . . . Just one, itty bitty little thing? ". . . this would add a lot to the tribes' moral." You had something like this a couple of times, and the word should be "morale". _ Looking forward to the next update! LoK |
![]() ![]() ![]() "And perhaps it was his leather vest that bore an unsettling resemblance to human skin." YUCK! *grin* I was going to wait until I read the next chapter to review, but I had to say that. As usual, your visuals are stunning. I like how Nefertarin (poor thing!) almost lost it when they first entered the cave, and I like your description of Lut-Ceter! Too cool. ja, LoK |
![]() ![]() ![]() a powerful thought provoking ending i love the last sentence! well done! |
![]() ![]() ![]() eek i think i spy a sad ending coming sniff...oh dear.. that means i'd better stock up on tissues |
![]() ![]() ![]() *sigh* i go on holiday for a few weeks and look what happens... another great chapter! well done, good work, i love the way you build tension in this chapter it makes for a gripping read.. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, yeah, trouble ahead all right. I feel badly for the Dorian King, he was a nice if ineffective person. I'll bet this doesn't all go as planned, though. Keep those chapters coming! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very suspenseful. You have me holding my breath to see how this all plays out. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Longer chapter than usual. Do either of them know what's triggering Talanion's changes? Does he even notice that his touch burns her? They seem more at odds with each other. I sense bad things ahead somehow. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another good chapter. I hadn't guessed Talanion's plan at all, and it is a good one- except, of course, that there's nothing to keep the demons from overwhelming the island and slaughtering them all. *sigh* But humans will be like that ;). I suppose the ultimate irony would be if the Prince really is the King's son. But somehow, I don't think that's going to happen. Nefertarin was sure quiet. I suppose she'll speak to Talanion later. Of course, since she didn't seem to know about the plan either, she probably didn't have much to say. Just curious: Is there something specific to Nakalla's thinking that she and her tribe won't be "left behind?" -Limyaael. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Welcome back again! I do feel I understand Nefertarin a little better now. I can sympathize with the motive of wanting to keep your own suffering concealed so that a loved one can enjoy what peace he or she has left. Somehow I wasn't thinking of it that way before. I wonder what will happen to Talanion, though, if Nefertarin dies first. I'm not sure she will, since at the rate he's going his fire may burn him up soon. I didn't expect the darkness to panic Nefertarin. Was it merely its resemblance to the Void? Surely some of the Necromancers' rituals are conducted in the dark. Any tie between the Sagate greeting and the idea that the Void can attack Nefertarin under sun and sky? Liked the description of the Sagate city, and it'll be interesting to see Nefertarin and Talanion from a native point of view. On to the next chapter... -Limyaael. P.S. Thank you for the lovely reviews! |
![]() ![]() ![]() WOW! As the chapters go on, I feel more and more dread. You do excellent writing. Heh, just guessing, but wouldn't the Matriarch question him being a Sagate if he wasn't 'cleaned up?' |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another good chapter, though I'm waiting to make my big review until the end. However, I have a question:you talked about "the great statue of the Waiting Hours" and it reminded me of The Thinker, is it based on that? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. So they will meet soon. Something I'm looking forward to, no less. It seems no one wants to get along with anyone else in this chapter, lol. Well, I'm off for today. I'm continuing tomorrow. 12 down, 44 more to go. -_- Also, I always love the way you close your chapters. The ending statement is so powerful and ominous. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Lol! Nothing like political/military figures bickering like little children. I found that funny. Just one question, though: melodious? What, did the man come in with a singing sort of voice? Sounds a little awkward. What about airy? Dismissive? I don't know... it's just me, I guess. I sort of laughed when I pictured melodious speech in my head for such a very serious matter. But I liked this chapter all the same. I also want to thank you for looking at my play, Cat's Eye. It's strange; I was just thinking yesterday that the play might catch your eye. And I'd like to thank you for pointing out that cats don't normally hunt during broad daylight. I'll have to clear that one up. As for continuing, there's no need for that: only revisions are necessary. I've been finished that play (it's quite long) since May and submitted it to a competition. I should be finding out whether or not I've won some time soon. I just haven't uploaded the remaining three scenes of Act I and seven/eight scenes of Act II because I just started college. Of course, this has nothing to do with the review I'm giving, so I apologize for taking up space. But I will continue uploading scenes on Monday. I promise. A pleasure to read this, as always. Nice to see that Talanion has finally seen Nefertarin (that was her, right?) even if she sent most of his men to their deaths. I wonder why he didn't recognize her raven hair as it was shown in his dreams. I mean, it would have haunted him to the point where he would spot it instantly, right? But it's only a matter of time before I see how that plays out. -Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman |