Reviews for Brother Sun, Sister Moon
Stormer chapter 38 . 8/11/2003
“Nestus’ dark eyes flashed again in anger the lack of response from him.”

“Although the latter wasn’t a big problem.”

“Glancing across his desk, he studied Nefertarin’s worried face. *But she doesn’t [know] that yet.*”

“Nefertarin’s expression turned from fear to surprise and [then] to affection.”

“…Talanion was enjoying the cares of the Temple healers, as Nestus had insisted he should [spend] his recovery in his old room at the Temple and not at the garrison.”

“Lorilla, have you come to [tuck] me in?” he said with a grin, as he reached out to pull her down.

As to the ending of this chapter…all I can say is “wow!” What a great ending! Fabulous work so far… Reading on with much eagerness!
Stormer chapter 37 . 8/11/2003
“He had also seen her handiwork and he would very much like to be anyplace else but [in] this clearing across her.”

“When Talanion regained consciousness, he found himself comfortably [tucked] in beside the campfire.” (I assume you meant ‘tucked’ not ‘tacked’?)

“Full penalty had not been sentenced for ages.” (‘Ages’ sounds to me kind of casual, more informal than your text usually is; I know it can be taken literally, e.g. meaning ‘aeons’, but to me it sounded more like “I haven’t seen that movie for ages, man!” if ya know what I mean *lol* Obviously this isn’t a big deal but I just thought I’d mention it :)

I really enjoyed this chapter; poor Talanion! But oh, the drama! This was unexpected. Great writing, keep it up! :)
Stormer chapter 36 . 8/11/2003
“Memories of lives not yet lived, fragments of the hearts of the dead that surround us, or things that could have come to pass should our choices [have] been different.

“I splashed and I fell and I dived in the cold water, ignoring the [icy] tingle on my skin, knowing that the fire in my blood would keep me warm.”

“There was a boy with me, apparently close to my age [in] the dream.”

“And he’s deeply concerned [about/by] the demons that raid the land.”

This was good…and clearly Nef didn’t get the message that was being transmitted via the dream. Oh well…I’m sure she will in time. *sigh*
Stormer chapter 35 . 8/11/2003
“And despite their hearts’ – and loins’ – craving, they would spend the coming night apart. And while they were searching of ways to speed up time, a different meeting was taking place behind the statue of the Waiting Hours.” (I think you can do without the ‘and’ at the start of the second sentence, as it’s repetitive and isn’t really needed)

“Before Talanion could react in any way, he felt his [hands] being raised in the air.”

Great chapter. I can't help being on their side and happy that they've found happiness, even though incest is a rather difficult concept to come to grips with, and also I am sure it's going to end in misery *shrugs*
Gauy chapter 55 . 8/11/2003
Wow, good stuff, but I'm kinda dreading what comes next. But, I shall keep reading.
shadowycat chapter 55 . 8/10/2003
Two wonderful and powerful chapters. Very lyically written, but sad. You can see heart break coming all over the place. Talanion's dream was especially horrifying. Is his physically getting hotter a new thing? I don't remember it being mentioned before. I'm really cringing as I wonder how this is all going to end. Glad you're back. Hope the hand is better! :)
RivanKnight chapter 55 . 8/10/2003
wow, two great chapters after a long wait. Good pace and fluidity.. and one can't help but feel sorry for Aurion. I really like him. It's pretty sad to see him laden with such emotional burden.

Things are going to get darker AGAIN? gosh, poor Tal and Nef. Somehow I predicted their carefree and no-worries days in the bandit camp will be coming to an end. ;p

Will there be any subplots regarding the King's son? Or was that a one-off thing. The King is so gullible. He will be devastated if he found out what his wife had been doing behind his back.

Well, off to read your new story :)

Awaiting more chappies.

Rk
Stormer chapter 34 . 8/10/2003
“Don’t even joke about this,” he hissed. And Talanion laughed again, much to [Nestus’] disapproving stare.

“You will be leaving under Marevanus’ command on a diplomatic mission to contact the Sagate and Luthare leaders in two [days’] time,” Nestus finally said.

“[Nefertarin], why?” his tired voice asked again.

As to the annual ritual thing, I’m kinda glad it’s there, because this way they both did something the other might object to – e.g. Talanion with his floozy at the tavern, and Nef with the ritual. They’re kinda “even” I guess. Still, I’m interested to see what happens in both instances :)
Stormer chapter 33 . 8/10/2003
"Not here. Someone might walk [in] on us," she protested.

"Call upon the mist," [she] whispered in his ear. "Hide us."

*sigh* This really is a sad story unfolding. The morons should have told them the truth from the start. But alas, it's too late. It has been too late for some time now! Fabulous chapter, reading on with much anticipation :)
Stormer chapter 32 . 8/10/2003
"And she saw that, under her [icy] stare, he had begun to sweat."

"Trying hard not to smile the thought, she left Myritta's quarters."

"For a long moment he stood studying her face, as her features had lost their [icy] coating."

"As her tongue battled his own for dominion, he couldn't help [noticing/but notice] how much different she was from most of his past lovers."

"He [drank] and joked and laughed, he had even pinched the ample butt of the serving girl..."

General comments: I feel really sorry for Talanion but really, what a silly boy! *lol* Reading on!
Stormer chapter 31 . 8/9/2003
"It has more practical [than] mystical reasons."

"The [fourth] time she was chosen, I was certain that the spirits were playing a bad joke on me."

"I felt the urge [to ignore] the King's command, but the consequences of such an action could be grave for my kin."

I wonder what Nef *does* think of this annual ritual thingo. She hasn't mentioned it before. Anyway...I decided to read this after all as it wasn't a very long chapter... I'm very tempted to read more and more. *g* But I won't. No, I won't. Gotta go sleepies!
Stormer chapter 30 . 8/9/2003
" the far end, a woman was seated under a blossomed cherry tree..."

This was a good chapter...naughty Talanion. He's really a fiend isn't he? Hehe. Poor ole Myritta. Oh well, that's what you get I guess. *shrugs* Great chapter! May read more tomorrow instead of tonight as it's rather late. I'm glad of the chance to catch up a bit though *s*
Stormer chapter 29 . 8/9/2003
"...driven to clergy life by his stern father's command, who saw him [unfit for] military service."

"He should definitely find a way to rid his world [of] the necromancers."

Yay for black cats! I love those *g* I have never had one...but still. Nothing quite like a black cat ;)

Great chapter, as per usual. Reading on!
Stormer chapter 28 . 8/9/2003
Poor Aurion *sniffles* I do feel for the guy.
Stormer chapter 27 . 8/9/2003
"Four of his comrades were ridding the shore [of] the remaining demons, assisted by two of the necromancers."

Hehe, I liked this: "I am afraid you might die," replied Marevanous dryly.

You are really good at building the tension. You are good at making your readers torn between wanting them to get together and not, since they're siblings. It's a storyline that we may have seen before (the incest that is) but you do it so well. Keep up the great work.
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