|Reviews for Brother Sun, Sister Moon|
| Pastoolio chapter 11 . 1/11/2005
Im a big fan of flowers in the attic by VC andrews so when i read the summary of your story it's needless to say i was intrigued. I enjoy romance storys but also action and i love the way you blended it in a dark way. I'm one of the few guys i know of who like romance and even fewer who finds incest intriguing(only in a fictional story of course). I always wondered what happens to the love of brother and sister that changes to animalistic lust or love. Anyways sorry to have droned on and on. I wonder if you have any similiar storys?
| The B.A.T chapter 75 . 11/22/2004
And now the history of his ancestors and the Thylari comes into play. So, both were , in essence, the light and dark incarnations of Ellerian? I must say, from what you've said of the Goddess of Dreams in past chapters, barring how crucial the information is in this chapter, I think this may have been your best chapter about her. Beautifully written, as always, but it really suited her. I wonder why it was that she felt a certain attachment to the White Ones, who killed her precious, winged silashai? That was interesting, even if only because it puzzled me. The finality of this chapter (which you've always been good at) lets me know the end is nigh (not to mention that I have only two or three chapters remaining to read), and I can only wonder what role, if any, Aurion will play in the climax. But first, to business. What's going to happen in the Void? I suppose I'll find out soon enough, won't I? Until then,
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman
| The B.A.T chapter 74 . 11/22/2004
I wonder what Tal's doing, but never mind that. This can't bold well for Aurion, and I can only imagine that Nef's going to have yet another chapter to herself in The Void. The fact that she returned there makes me wonder if there is significance there regarding the answer to defeating The Fleshless One. Of course, Aurion will have to recall knowledge of his bloodline, but, since this is Nef's and Tal's tale, they must implement measures based on that knowledge. Regardless, if I remember correctly, any trip to the Void that Nef takes is bad news, especially because of the prophesy and the dreams that Tal has had in the past. I promised that I would finish this, and so I shall. And I may most likely read it again, so that I can remember everything. Your faithful (if ever late) reviewer,
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman
| Blaze the Unmaker chapter 1 . 10/22/2004
The flow and.. what is the word? Majesty perhaps, of the entire story is amazing. I absolutely love the work that you do. Keep it up!
| jemraja chapter 1 . 9/14/2004
woah... beautifully written - no mistakes and flowing selection of words... yu actually acheived *deepness* (cant think of the word right now) without making it seem halfway cheesy, and theres a philosophical/chronicler tone... very well done
| Flamehail chapter 27 . 8/25/2004
It just keeps getting better and better.t Yay! Although I must say that there seem to have been more typos in the last few chapters then there were in the first several. I know this story's finished and others have probably pointed them out, but if you're looking at editing, you should probably look around here closely.
But overall it's an impressive tale. You are building up the tension quite admirably. I'll be back soon to read more!
| Flamehail chapter 20 . 8/22/2004
Wow. This is impressive. I just realized I'm on the 20th chapter and should maybe stop and review. I'm enjoying it.
I figure that since this is such a long-established story you have lots of people pointing out typos for you, so I haven't bothered to do that. There were few of them, anyway.
For the first several chapters the story sounded very myth-like, very impersonal, which was how it was supposed to sound, I think, and well-done so far as that goes, though not at all the style of most modern stories. I like this style, but just as I was going to suggest that maybe you'd want to think about character development and thoughts and happy things like that, whammo, there it all was! So I guess I don't have much to criticize, except that some people would find it a slow start. And yet that style was so well-done...
I can't think of anything else at the moment to criticize. I will definitely be back to keep reading, because I am awed by your mastery. _
Till next time,
| ayliannah chapter 79 . 8/18/2004
hey...I do have to say, that your story has inspired me to write more. Not only is this something that deserves to be on a new york times best seller list..but it does have the amount of talent to become a published book. This has been the best story that I have ever read in the whole of my life..and I have read many. I have witnessed little to no errors...those small errors being due to the internet itself. I have greatly enjoyed reading your work.. and have spent many a night without sleep trying to get to the end. The world not only holds me in its thrall but as I was reading, I felt as if you had made me into a part of the story. Which if ever, never happens. To find a story of of this calibre, is next to impossible, it is even harder to find a book that can capture a person's subconcious, infiltrate their dreams, and leave them totally speachless as chapter by chapter flits through their mind. For the past couple months, I have lived and possibly breathed your story into me. I thank you for the opportunity of sharing your intricate imagination. It has truly been a gift to read your work. It had been well worth the wait for each chapter upload, and finally the finish of the story.
I am truly sorry for the lateness of this review, but hopefully you will get to read this.
Thank you again for this gift...
| Tempest Epilogue chapter 79 . 7/15/2004
*clapclapclapclap* I have just finished the whole thing. And I have to say, you are an absolutely brilliant author. I applaud you, and have some catnip. :) I love the beginning, love the middle, love the end. And I love the thing with the tree and the two children. :) This may have to go onto the list of the total of three stories that have ever made me cry. :)
| Tempest Epilogue chapter 2 . 7/6/2004
Yay, I like your beginning very much. I must read more of this story, and then I shall comment on the rest of it, and we will all be happy! :)
| Cutlass chapter 7 . 6/6/2004
Nice cyclical nature of this chapter - starting out with 'death has many names' and ending with the same thing. This chapter was also a bit short, but it explained critical facts relating to Aurion and Nefertarin. Good physical description of her, and of the dead around her.
| Cutlass chapter 6 . 6/6/2004
Argh I can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet - I should've said this from the first: Thanks so much for your reviews! They were marvelously helpful and detailed.
Anyway so wow - definitely dramatic and foreboding. Great description of Tur-Sadat, I especially liked the imagery of the crushed bones 'cracking at every step.' You really established an eerie mood. Exciting way to end the chapter, with her being possessed, but I found myself wondering 'what kind of girl INSTINCTIVELY tastes her own blood...?' Then again though, she's been claimed by Sadatix already, so that might explain it...
Anyway, great writing and explanation, if a little short. Once again I feel that dialogue could've added to Nefertarin's characterization, but with these background chapters, I guess it's not as necessary.
| Cutlass chapter 5 . 6/6/2004
Quick clarification question - the notes in italics, are those from Aurion? Also, when you said that Talanion won the King's favor through the Queen's chamber, it makes it seem like the King liked him for sleeping with his wife (which didn't really make sense to me).
Anyway, good general summary of the events that happened to Talanion after he was captured. Interesting that the High Priest would want to manipulate him, and he does a good job at it to. Although you clearly present what happened to Talanion, I found myself looking for some dialogue in this part, just to get more insight into his character and add more immediacy to the situation.
Nitpicky grammar stuff:
"And the Guard Captain trained him to the long and short sword, to the combat tactics and battle strategies, thrilled to find an eager student and a skilled swordsman in the wild boy." 'Trained him to' is awkward phrasing - maybe use 'taught him' instead.
"that can turn his opponent in life and battle to ashes." 'opponent in life' - I'm not quite sure what that means. Does that mean his opponent who was alive?
| Cutlass chapter 4 . 6/6/2004
Short and to the point. Nice description of the Prophetess, and it was good to see the context of the situation in which she gave that prophecy.
Nitpicky grammar stuff:
"He died shortly after I left in his sleep." A bit awkward - maybe put 'in his sleep' right after 'died' to clarify.
| Cutlass chapter 3 . 6/6/2004
The background information on the two different religions was informative and interesting - it was a realistic touch that the military invasion also included a clash in religious ideals. It was also interesting to see just how similar the two faiths were, and yet the followers could not see it the same way (reminds me of the conflicts between Christians, Jews, and Muslims). Anyway, nice job with more set-up and background info about the twins. The only real mechanical problem I could find with this chapter was the repeated use of 'and' to start a sentence.