Reviews for Brother Sun, Sister Moon |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Uh-oh... Of course, Aurion lives, because he wrote the thingy, but Nef is now in the Void! Will the umbilical cord between her and Talanion save her? SHE (I don't think the creature was ever named) is quite scary. I liked the part about her aura being no completley evil though. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm really liking the way you write the main characters, as I know I've mentioned before. It's interesting and different, as it seems almost impersonal, but still gets into their character. The narrative from Aurion is very good: his character seems well positioned for his role in the story - not a main or central character, but someone important whose commentary gives this story a real edge to it. Without Aurion's narrative the story is still good, but his omniscience just makes the story far more compelling and promising of dark things to come. It's storming along into the ominous and tragic, and the quality of the writing makes this just incredible. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another compelling chapter. The atmosphere you create is brilliant, and I don't understand how you manage to create such a tangible world with so few words! As with the previous chapter, Nefertarin's growth and development is fascinating and incredibly well described. |
![]() ![]() ![]() An excellent chapter, really really well written. I love the way you show Talanion as he grows up; suitably removed but still showing something of his character. The way the story is building up is very skilful and climatic, even at this stage. I think this was my favourite chapter so far, but as I say, it feels as though it's building up to something. Heh and there's 68 chapters still to go before the end! God, I'm sorry for the short review but there's nothing I can really criticise. In one place I wasn't sure about the word choice - "thrilled to find an eager student and a skilled swordsman in the wild boy" -"thrilled" just seems a little too much. But that's it. Well done! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yet he must survive this if he's writing it down. Does the Void end up being something useful here? It strikes me that it would make a lovely trap for this "Goddess". I'll be very interested to see where the rest of this goes. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think the italics work well. :) This was a very tense chapter more full of forboding than anything I've read in a long time. Things are certainly coming to a head at last...I'm a little afraid to read about what will happen next. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well being as he wrote this down, im going to guess that aurion isn't dead *Hurrah* but i loved the way in which you had the prime evil as being a woman. Ver ywell done. Your writing style here reminded me of the way tolkien writes. A superb chapter. Gripping and imaginative... more more! |
![]() ![]() Wow, Werecat, you know that I've been saving up to review your work. Now the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived. I am very lucky to have chanced into such an amazing writer. It's hard enough for me to create and maintain my own world, but you have seemed to complete what I hope will be many novels in our time. Not many are blessed with your style and not many can work with words as well as you. It has been gripping, chilling, joyous to read and review this masterful work. Great thanks for being one of the few that could actually hold my attention for 74 wonderful chapters, and leave me spellbound in the end. . Azerix oh, i'm just too lazy to sign in |
![]() ![]() ![]() Damn it, you absolutely *had* to end that on a cliffhanger, didn't you? I loved the description of the demons. Very creepy, which is a feeling I haven't had in a few chapters of the story (brooding was mot that kind of atmosphere). And *She* is also creepy. I'm assuming Talanion's attempt to stop Mistress Sea-Brain won't work, since he's supposed to do it with Nefertain, not alone... unless she helps him from inside the Void? Hm. Thanks for explaining the reference to the Shrine in the previous chapter, by the way. I didn't get that at all. Good luck on the rest! -Limyaael. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Alas, the end is near... I wonder if the Winter Solstice could have influenced the nightmares and omens in this chapter. The Soltice is usually a time for celebration (Yule, Christmas) so I find this a bit ironic. And then there's the Void...I somehow believe that the greater battle, at least for Nefertarin, is going to be with the Void rather than with whatever evil force is threatening the world. Aurion and Talanion reaching an understanding? Never thought I'd see the day... Regarding the italics, I find that they can be a very good stylistic choice if used propoerly. They're only tiring to the eyes if they're overused, but since you only used them for a few scattered paragraphs it's not a problem. You could also conosider using first person perspective for the dream sequences and flashbacks; it puts us in the character's shoes and makes it more personal. I can't wait to read more. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I've just finished reading the whole story, which has taken me a few days... Quite a dark tale - the Horror/Tragedy category is deserved. Talanion (what a detestable man) reminds me of Tolkien's Feanor, an elf whose spirit was brightly burning fire, a fire that eventually consumed him. And Feanor's legacy was one of pain for all. I wonder if Talanion will follow the same path? As for Nefertarin, I predict a bad end for her. Even if she isn't killed by outside forces, I believe she'll do it herself should Talanion die. Those two have "fatal tragedy" written all over them. I just hope they'll manage to save the world before their fate catches up to them. My favorite character is Aurion, though I'm not sure why. Still, I do know I like him better than any other character. Too bad it appears he'll have to commit ritual suicide relatively soon. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the rest of the story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() *applauses* Yey, he realized that he's been casuing her a lot of pain and hardship. *few paragraphs later* He seems to have forgotten about it so soon... Of course, he's lost his sanity to anger and rage. *reads the end* Must read next chapter... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hello. I've finally got out of my laziness and started reading the story again. Really, I can't believe I stopped reading it. I guess I'm just afraid of the ending. Anyway, I see you have a very well written chapter. At this moment, I'm feeling a little mixed up. I can't really say how because I don't know how to explain it. I guess in a way I'm a little mad at Talanion for hurting Nefertarin so much. Though I'm not sure if what Nefertarin did was partly to get back at Talanion or not. I think I just confused myself. I'll shut up and continue on now. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hooray! A new chapter to this wonderful epic! *does a dance* I love the whole aspect of this chapter, from the title to the way you executed it. Dreams and stories . . . my favorite combination, but don't ask me why. _;; The way Nefertarin began was just . . . I feel so sympathetic. Poor thing. Those days are the worst - and she's got this whole prophecy hanging over her on TOP of all that . . . bleh! Then, of course, there was Aurion's dream. So fascinating! Please, as soon as you can, update! _ ja, LoK |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh...Duh duh duh! Forboding awaits all who follow here! Excellent! When you were talking about Queens giving birth to still born kittens did you mean queen cats? I was just a touch confused on that...The vision of a human queen littering dead kittens insisted on popping into my head! LOL! Good stuff! Gotta bounce! Darwin |