I love stories like these.
Knights, kings, queens and princesses are my favorite stories.

Wow Chelsea! I just finished it and it was really good. I really hope you add to it! I like the fifth chatper especially, When Emma uses and discovers her own power, it was great!
I can see what they mean about adding physical descriptions but you did an awsome job descibing their feelings and aditutes! The only thing I would suggest is making it flow a little better from event to event. Other than that it was brilliant, very creative, i have yet to read the other one!;)
~magoo

Hey Chelsea. WHAZZUP! got your letter, thanx it did give me a warm fuzzy fresh from the dryer feeling. appreciate it. how were all your meaps. ok here. great story! I need to finish it. You write way better than me. I've given myself new expectations! wait till u read mine when its finished. got an e-mail address? If not, it's ok. See ya!
Mike aka Mangos ;*0 :.) %( :&

Erm... something seems to be not quite right about my earlier criticism on that sentence that made no sense... hold on while I find the one that made no sense... ah here it is:

Emma fell into a daydream as she remembered her oak bow, so strong until her father and it had been locked inside their humble home in Preston.

This is the one that didn't make any sense... sorry, I don't know what happened with the other one. It apparently deleted the one that I meant to mark, and I don't know why.

"I barely remember Rounak, I do remember staying with the elves. That's where we stayed and I was gifted my first bow." She shook away the look of pain and fear in her father's face and focused on Arthur's confused glare.

This sentence makes no sense. Please edit so we can know what exactly happened. :) In response to your troubles with the descriptions, I don't think it should be that hard... just write down things like the hair color, eye color, body type things like that... Are they thin, fat, slim, muscular? Dark hair, light? I would especially expect some more description of Galahad since it seems like his wife would be thinking of him often and enjoying the looks he has, so we should really know what he looks like...

Ah yes I remember now... I knew he was related to Morgaine somehow, I just couldn't remember how... now I remember the first part of Mist of Avalon that I read and the whole thing with her unwittingly having sex with him and having Mordred for a son though. I really ought to go back and read the whole book... I remember it was pretty good.

I still enjoy how fitting the dialog and words you use are. Definently the charming Arthurian tale. But I must agree with the other reader...where are they? I suppose, however, that you will add them in in time. I am anxious to see Vivian, if you plan on adding her. And to the last reviewer: Morgaine le Fay was actually his half sister by Gorlois of Cornwall. I know you, Rohnie, proved me wrong by telling me that you know a lot about the legend. And you do! I hope to see it in your writing, which I have thus far. But I also hope you add more details in some aspects. Also, thank you for adding Galahad. If I'm not mistaken, he was the most noble knight of the Round Table and played a huge part in the Holy Grail, no? I hope to read more soon!

*Faery Tragedy

I really like this, but shouldn't there be more to the actual physical descriptions of the characters? we never hear anything about what color hair or eyes the knights have, for example, and no body types either...

Also, a couple things confuse me. I did not read Mists of Avalon very much, only briefly, and I recognize a number of Lancelot's flawed tendencies from various accounts of the Arthurian legends, but I do not see where you'd get the bad stuff that you have about Arthur. Most if not all of the accounts I read concerning Arthur had him as the ultimate benevolent king, not one who hated women... Morgan Le Fay was his mother if I recall correctly (Am I right about this?) and she was also an Avalon priestess according to my recollection, so it seems to me like if anything he'd try to make the best of the mix between Avalonians and the Christians as much as possible. Although it's possible I just didn't read enough. And there's several other figures you're missing... where's Merlin in all this? he's certainly a big Arthurian figure... why isn't he in this? Where's Gawaine and his relatives, (aside from Gareth) where's Sir Tristram and Isolde? Are they out questing, have they died, or what?

This is a really great story! I don't see why people aren't flocking around it to review it! I really like your explanations of Chelsa and Emma, but in this chapter they suddendly hate each other? I am confused. If you look at the end of chapter two, it is cut off before ending a word-did it paste wrong?

Anyway, an awesome story, and since I've never read the Mists of Avalon-I've only read one book with 'Mist' in the title (Daughter of the Mist) haha)-I can't bedraggle you about that. The story is really creative and nicely presented. Keep it up!

-Mary

A very charming story from what I've read. During the first chapter, I kept thinking to myself "She's probably read the Mists of Avalon...". Ha, guess I was right. But the what if? situation adds a new twist to the centuries-old King Arthur tale. I quite like reading about your Emma and Chelsea. You definently made me feel like I was in 5AD Britain.

*Faery Tragedy