I am intrigued *runs and adds story to favourites* Even though your first chapter makes no sense whatsoever I shall read on

i love the begining and well yes it was mean to leeave us hanging! PLEASE I BEG YOU CONTINUE WRITTING! *pouts in corner* please?

sincerly Shiniagamis shadow

PLEASE continue! lol

Come on! Write the next chapter! It's bloody good! Come on, there's three of us reading this right now and we reckon that its like the best one we've ever read! ( On this topic anyway) and we're anxiously awaiting your update.
We could be gone

AWSOMNISS...i think i am in lone (lol)...cante wat eto see waht hapens

yeah that was evil to leave us on a cliffhanger i hope you write some more soon, try too keep the story flowing though

Your horrible! To leave people hanging like that...Well I guess that just means I'll have to wait. I'm not very good at it though.

great beginning... i am impatiently waiting for the sex scene!

Good foreshadowing. I'm quite intrigued about what'll happen next.

Is dappled a word?

Although I know slash is about m/m relationships, I don't know much about any differing writing techniques that slash authors use; regardless I'm uninterested in most of the second paragraph. Make the character being described unique as a result of their personality, not as a result of their fancy clothes and accessories. And if you must describe their appearance, change it up a little: black jeans, black boots, black shirt, black panther...it's somewhat redundant. Also, "But I still lap hungrily at the wound because I am hungry for the tangy taste..." Hungrily and hungry shouldn't be in the same sentence - at all costs! Also, when you use tangy to describe anything but the powdered drink mix, I get a misleading image. And I've always found blood to taste more rusty, anyway.

Although I know the narrator is an observer, and probably a distant one from what I can guess, make some concessions and allow the reader some insight into the character of this vampire.