|Reviews for All About You Part II|
| The Quotidian Life chapter 17 . 7/10/2012
I prefer this ending much more over the other one. I guess I was a shipper for Ashton the whole time :) well written
| Percabethgirl2645 chapter 8 . 6/28/2012
What happened to ashton and Marsha?
| Mirji chapter 17 . 12/21/2011
First off congratulations on finishing All About You and its sequel. Your stories are extremely well written. I do not think that I have seen any others on this site that were so well put together. You are an extrememly eloquent writer.
Now before I continue with my lovely review, I wanted to tell you that I normally don't review stories in general unless I have been floored by how outstanding it was or if there is something that I wanted to point out that I would think the author would find useful.
In your case, it's both.
These are just suggestions. You are the writer, therefore you do what you think suits you, your creativity and your story best.
First off, the use of the word "like". I found it very redundant with how much it was used. Granted it dropped dramamtically in the sequel. Apart from that it was used far too much. It makes you, as a writer, lose some creditability. Why? I speak from personal experience. In California (this is where I live) "like" is very often used because people just can't find the word they acctually want to use. It sounds natural because we're so used to it but if we were to listen closely, it sounds awkward. Same thing applies to writing only it stands out more. Every time I came across multiple "likes" in one sentence, I payed more attention to that and the sentence became awkward and just annoying. Also it goes against the characters' personalities. Sophie is described as intelligent and it's evident when you hear what she is thinking. But when she talks and uses "like", the reader questions her intelligence. Same thing applies to Ashton. It just seemed so out of character. Breigh or even Devon seemed more like the type.
The next thing I wanted to talk about was when you go into uneccessary detail about what people are wearing or what brand something is. You don't have to talk about every detail of the character's clothing. Only if the clothing is part of the character's personality. Take Ashton for example. You said he wore a leather jacket, that helped the reader in imagining him and develop his personality as a rebel. You don't have to give every insignificant detail. As for giving out brand names, it's very random and unecessary. The reader doesn't care.
Another thing that I noticed was that your endings, to both your stories, seemed rushed. They were still good, just rushed.
Lastly, I wanted to talk about your author notes. They. Are. Long. And they're all responses to your reviewers. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that you take your time to read each review and then respond to it. It shows much appreciation towards your readers and not many authors do that. I applaude you. But in all honesty, many times I considered giving up on your story because these responses are so long. Your responses take up more space than the actual content in the book. They take up space in the story and anyone looking for a story will think that this one is very long when in actuality, it's full of responses to reviewers. It's quite aggravating really and I am 100 percent sure that many other people thought so to. What I suggest you that you do is that you click on the "respond" icon next to each review and respond to them that way. Or you can private message those who have accounts.
I truly hope that you don't take this review as insulting because that was no where near my intention. When I review, I am as honest as I can be. I think you are an amazing writer and I only wanted to help. If you don't like my suggestions, then that is just fine because, like I said before, it is your story and your creativity. Here you are the only one incharge of it. I won't suddenly hate your story just because you didn't agree with me. Your story will still be outstanding and I will love it just as much.
| wakeyourdreamz chapter 17 . 10/24/2011
I abso-positively loved it!
I read the 'ending' this morning and then when it continued...I was like, oh wow, that was really weird. Cause that ending with her and Dev was perfect you know, it was how I completely expected the story to end, but, just quietly, I read a couple reviews to see how the story was and people were all 'I'm so glad she got with Ashton.." and I started reading and I was like, 'OHNOES' cause they were both such good guys...kind of, and how were you going to break Ashtons heart like that, but it was just like one big story with two happy endings! Kind of like two chapters in her life.
It was so great!
I love Ashton and Soph was such a great protagonist, her personality was darling
| WhispersOfmyHeart chapter 17 . 9/8/2011
loved it but hated devon for cheating i guess we all knew Ashton was the one deep down
| Lostforever chapter 17 . 7/5/2011
Hey, I know u wrote this story a while back but recently just went and read both part one and two.
Your story is really great. So the answers to the questions:
Fav character is Ryan (adorable)
Fav scene is when Devon goes and tells Sophie that he's not good enough for her
I definitely liked the story. I am a sucker for romance stories though I love humor in it too so this story definitely fit that criteria.
Something I didn't like about this story is that Devon didn't end up with Sophie. I know he was a complete jerk but for some reason I like his character more; more depth in his then in Ashton's (I feel). And this whole thing seemed to start with Devon and I guess I wasn't too happy that he didn't end up with Sophie.
Well that's just my opinion. Anyways don't get the wrong idea that I don't like Ashton because I do, I just like Devon a bit better. :)
| Alanisaur chapter 17 . 5/3/2011
I love this story too.. But I feel as if their are too many ,, 'loose ends'... You know.? It went from like one thing to another and all confusing ad stuff. But I like the idea/ maybe plot,
| mon chapter 17 . 4/26/2011
Loved your story!
| Kainat chapter 17 . 3/12/2011
wow I loved AAY and just finished reading AAYP2 and I loved this one even more..I discovered this story 6 years later but better late than never :)
My favorite character was 'Ryan' of course! He's such a sweetheart I wish I had a friend like Ryan he's such a life saver I think everyone needs a Ryan in their life.
My favorite scene was when Sophie got the letters in a box I got butterflies in my stomach just by reading that part 1278 letters.
I really liked 'AAY' when I first stumbled upon it, then decided to read this one too..and realized after reading this I liked Sophie&Ashton more and more than Sophie&Devon.
I don't know I just liked it, I guess the real reason was because we all have or see sophie in ourselves? maybe. I don't know maybe if sophie was a valley girl type of character I wouldn't have bothered reading it. I don't know that's just my opinion.
| Warrior-Princess06 chapter 17 . 12/26/2010
'Hey there! :)) I just finished reading all the chapters for straight hours except for the chapters 1-5..hehe..i'm done reading them in the prequel..! :)) Actually, I didn't know that there was a sequeal for ALL ABOUT YOU..it's a good thing that i checked it in your profile..hehe.! :)) Well, What can i say? I LOVE IT! Ashton and Sophie..kyaa..they're perfect for each other.! :))Ashton is nice and better than Devon! I still hate Devon and I love Ryan and Marsha too..hehe.! :)) Anyways, I enjoy reading this great fic.! :)) Until next time.! :))
| AndSoItBegins chapter 11 . 12/12/2010
Pshh, I don't care who Ashton slept with
My heart still belongs to him
| mixed signals chapter 17 . 11/20/2010
Aww loved it! :) So glad that ashton and sophie ended up together. Great job :) I loved reading it.
| mizgardenia21 chapter 17 . 9/10/2010
I loved this! I read the first one and was like Oh noes! She ended up with that jerk Devon (although he's not too bad just incredibly self absorbed) and then I saw this and the ending was really real. I liked it immensely.
| Cecily Mitchell chapter 17 . 8/7/2010
So, I have finally made it through the whole story and the continuation. First let me say that I loved the poll. I wish that I had found this story early enough to participate but alas, I wasn't even aware of fp at that time :(. My vote was split between Ashton and Jon the ice cram counter guy btw.
Alright here we go:
That's easy, I love Sophie adorable mess, and Ryan is a close second. Actually, all of them are dear to me even Devon. Although Breigh was pretty messed up in the head.
For the story, I have two. The first one is when she's fawning over Ashton's busted lip. The second one is when she first scores free ice cream. I love ice cream
For the continuation: I love the beginning scene when Ashton comes back into her life. For a second I was scarde that Griff was a love interest because I so wanted them to be aware of the love they were already sharing.
Why you read this: I love romantic stories. And clueless oblivious girls. Makes for a fun interesting read
Why you liked this, if you liked it: See above plus the story was very well-written and had a nice flow. Beautiful
Why you didn't like this, if you didn't like it
This is simply not applicable to me :)
Thanks for taking the time to share your talent!
| Candescence chapter 17 . 6/13/2010
I love this ending so much better than the last one. Don't get me wrong, but I just didn't like Devon at all in the first installment, nor this one. He just got annoying. But, then there was Ashton...And we all know how that turns out. He's so much better for her and he deserves her too. And, as you can tell, he's my fav character.
The ending did seem a bit rushed, but that's alright. And I did feel as if the first part with Sophie/Devon did drag out quite a bit. In my opinion, this second one is so much better. :)