|Reviews for All About You Part II|
| Xenia chapter 6 . 4/30/2003
You better update before May 7th, Mel-girl, or I'm gonna have to take the likes of you off my buddy list! Oh, and another condition: GET SOPHIE WITH SOMEONE! NOW. Preferable with Ashton, I think. Anyway,
Love you story,
| inconsequential me chapter 6 . 4/28/2003
A w! Yay for setting Ryan free. I always liked him. Well, as a person, anyway. I didn't like him... With Sophie. Nope, that's ashton's job :D
I didn't think the romance was rushed at all...Ok, maybe a little, but I think it works in this situation...It all seems to fit. Or whatever. Somethingl like that. It just seems too natural. But maybe in others eyes i can see how they consider that rushing...But not me.
responses in emails? Eh, that sounds like a lot of work o.O but if you're up to the challenge, then why not? I have no problem with what you're doing now, but whatever makes you happy.
I was mad at Ashton for dismissing her like that... Poor Sophie, she deserves to know why. (I myself am really curious as well... I'm assuming it's a big deal...so...what happened...?) In due time, i guess he'll tel lthough...it's just a matter of getting to then...ick. oh well. I suppose it'll be worth its wait.
The wedding? Sheesh! I can't believe she's going. I guess it will be some sense of closure or whatever... The bride should stand him up, yep, that's what he'd deserve...Lol. Except then Sophie might feel sorry for him and be the shoulder to cry on...! Ahh! That would be bad. Lol, ok, i'm done making up hypothetical scenarios with someone else's fictional characters...
I liked this chapter, it was cute :) Nicely written too. Only caught one grammar mistake... Quite a feat, really. Kudos! Update soon, ya hear?
| Jacaranda chapter 6 . 4/27/2003
And of course you know Devon's still in love with Sophie. It's *Sophie*, how could he not be? BTW, all your guy characters need to manifest themself in the real world asap. Favourite storied.
| Carmenta chapter 6 . 4/26/2003
Gah! I am such an idiot. I went and left that review, and you're already way ahead of me. Dreams do come true. *is odd* Okay, right here goes:
Ah! He's just so sexy! I have to go tell everyone about this story - bye!
| elohimdancer319 chapter 6 . 4/25/2003
well you can't really say that you rushed the romance. it was inevatable, you just took the shorter route. this way at the wedding she can say that she has someone, ashton. maybe he'll say she's his fiancee and then they have to live this lie and end up realizing thier true feelings. anyway. w/e. good luck.
| Guest chapter 6 . 4/25/2003
novel length would be great, if only so i could keep reading about ashton. i was reading some other reviews, and someone mentioned introducing new characteres, but i personally feel that it doesnt seem like a new story because its got the same characters that we know and love, and because of that, introducing another character to be a prospective candidate for sophie's choice would be too much. maybe you could explore ashton and devon's relationship, explain what happened to marsha, show that she REALLY has closure to the devon issue, and maybe tell us whats been going on with ryan. but thats just what i think.
umm, about reviews. the thing with your format is that it was really annoying having them at the beginning (probably just because i didnt review, and when you dont, theres not much to look forward to in the responses). moving them to the bottom is a great idea, and i dont think you should email, for two reasons. one, is that it would be a total waste of time for you (which takes away from story writing time!) and there are lots of people who would like a response but dont really want to put up there email addys (like me!). \
btw, i kinda hope that devon is happy, but i also hope he realize what hes missing! heh heh. i think what id really like to see is him admitting that he thought ashton had something going for way back in high school.
| ScarsOnAScribbler'sHeart chapter 6 . 4/25/2003
Well it took me a little while to find this chapter because I didn't know that you'd created a new story.
Yea, I've read your story quite a bit. It's a decent story. And I'm glad I caught onto the jerk too. :)
About Ryan: Aw, well I must admit that with great reluctance I will accept the fact that he will never be with Sophie and I will move on...hopefully. ;)
It may just be me but I'm thinking that this continuation is moving a little slowly. It's revolving completely around Sophie and Ashton falling in love (which isn't too fast, because people don't fall in love overnight). With your previous story, All About You, the reader (at least I was) was constantly wondering who would Sophie end up with and why. Maybe you could throw in a few more characters, mix it up a bit, and make us wonder a bit more instead of making it obvious that Ashton's going to end up with Sophie. Maybe you could twist the plot you've got in mind a bit, throw in Uni and stuff, toss in a few other guys, you know? Maybe you could weave a whole new story out of this. Maybe a fire could burn down the building, and Sophie's saved by a heroic young firefighter who falls for her? Maybe she crashes into some guy in the halls of uni...literally. Maybe she meets and falls for a changed Ryan? Maybe Ryan really has changed, and he's a totally different guy and Sophie falls for him? Don't always stick with what you've got, you can always drop the thread you're working on, and pick up another of a totally different colour. Weave it around a bit. You can always have Ashton and Sophie end up together in the end, but keep us readers on our feet, guessing what thread you're going to pick up next. So far the plot seems predictable and that's a shame because you're a decent writer with a lot of potential. If I'm sounding harsh, I'm sorry but I've just had a bombshell dropped on me and I'm stressed. I'm sorry. Thanks for reading this review. And pick up different coloured threads! They're good, really!
| Ashley the Fair chapter 6 . 4/24/2003
This has been updated since Easter and Ashley did not even know about it 'til today. But May 7th? Anyways, I didn't mean for Ashton and Marsha to get back together, I meant what happened with them? I want to know why he came back! Sophie needs to fall for sexy Ashton! I don't think it's going fast, 'cause I mean they've known each other for a long time, so yea. Adios.
| siren chapter 6 . 4/23/2003
man...i feel like such an idiot. i didn't even know that you changed where you were updating it, and i just read your other chapter with no idea that you had written another one. so you can just disreguard my other review on the other story if you want to as it is now totally irrevelant.
anywaz, great chapter, and good luck with the wedding fiasco. my advice to you would be have Devon think that he wants Sophie back, and her refuse him for ashton. that way it would redeem her in the eyes of everyone, and herself for being too lovestruck to realize that the perfect guy is only inches away.
| yuckkkk chapter 6 . 4/23/2003
I like this story so much more than the other one! I can't remember if I already said that, but it's true.
Anyways, if you want your writing to be just a little improved, you should try to use more questions marks. I've noticed that you write things like, "Mind if I go through your medicine cabinet." or something like that. That type of sentence needs a question mark. Sorry to bother you if somebody already told you this. )
Oh, and since your replies are always so long, I think the e-mailing thing is a good idea because...well, then it wouldn't look like there was more story than there really is, hehe;)!
Great chapter. -
| CalloftheDynamo chapter 6 . 4/23/2003
anyways... need more... For... THIIS IS A GOOD STORY!
| Cryptic Insanity chapter 6 . 4/22/2003
Damn school..it ruins everything...But Anywho...I love Ashton and Sophie...they are so cute!
I have no objections over emailed replies..heehee..
Can't wait for the next update!
| Erilynne chapter 6 . 4/22/2003
Just wanted to drop a line and say I like this a lot and it looks like it should come out pretty good. You said you wanted suggestions, so i thought of one... Uh, you could have them kiss or soemthing, and then get really uncomfortable about it and start avoiding eachother for a while and then have one of them (either one would be cute) apologize and then have them start moving towards the romance again... Oh, and I don't think you're moving it on too fast. It's long overdue, and personally, I always liked ashton a lot :).
-Eri Maru (Z)
| LazyDaze06 chapter 6 . 4/21/2003
it's own separate document. sucks about the reviews though. own little emails for review responses sound kinda cool. makes us feel special, don't it?
| cbprice25 chapter 6 . 4/21/2003
Looks good. Update soon.