So far so good!

This is a very confusing beginning. I wish you would capitalize some of the parts of it, but other wise I like the detail, the ideas, what I don't understand is how she suddenly left, hopefully they will be explained in later chapters

I love your story, it's dark, yet you can tell she's still human (well, kind of) Any way Just wanted to let you know and you should update soon.

I really like this story, the whole "cousin" thing was a twist I REALLY wasn't expecting, but that's a good thing. I hope you update soon, and I hope Marcel comes back soon too.

Ugh, I hat Nick. Why can't Aurora just kill Alicia, instead of taking the job to protect her. Especially with her feelings toward Nick. I think that was really stupid of her.

I love this story so far

On to Chapter 2. Very well written.
*~RGG~*

man i love this story. especially when there's an update. it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside ; ) update soon!

ah, *&$#. that last typo wasn't intentional. i can't even beta my own writing! the shame, the shame! more soon. :)

yes, yes that is enough thanks for me, but of course. however, all mistakes are *my* fault? yes, because i am a living grammar dictionary and therefore never allow an error to pass by me uncorrected. or something like that. and you're right on the biggest fan part. you can't forget about those little people like me once you're a famous novelista. and yes, i meant to say novelista instead of novelist even though that isn't a real word ... unless i can consider it spanglish, and you consider spanglish to be real. anyways, i love the new name and cannot wait for the tie-in explanation and i am still trying to figure out how i would write it ... if i get that far i'll have to send it to you. e i love all the characters you create, but rory is still my numero uno favorito bitchin queene. again, intentional typo. don't ask. i don't know if i could answer if you did. i would like some jell-o. sorry this review took forever and is essentially nonsense, you know how much i love this story (and i am really sorry if i did miss any errors, shame on me if so) and MARCEL IS COMING BACK! i can't wait for him to come! ... um, i meant that in a totally pg way also. right. sure. yep. write more soon! i have needs, you know? MEET THEM! GIVE ME MY MINUMUM SUPPLE OF EXCELLENT WRITING! MWAHAHAHAHA. mkay. laytah.

hey this is Mary and yes I am reading this far. I like your story a lot and am waiting for more. But did you have to leave it on a cliff hanger? LOL just kidding thats the best way to end a chapter ensures that the readers stay interested and all. :)

That was a bit of a new twist. This poor girl can't win for loosing can she? And why hasn't the boys shot at her yet, or is she Magic Boy's target only? Ah well, I'm sure we'll find out later. Keep writing and update soon!
Peachez _~

norris may be in the club of the cool, but marcel is still hotter. he could dance the pants off norris (in a non sexual way) so anyway, UPDATE SOON!

Be careful and watch for subject verb agreement.

I would be careful with your subject in your sentences. You keep switching in between third and first person and it is very confusing. I do like the story a lot however. You are doing great. Keep up the good work.