Reviews for the LAST war
Kellza chapter 6 . 12/29/2004
it's very surreal to be reading this here. I'm in the morale room of a hospital tent north of Baghdad. There is a Marine sleeping in a chair, a surgeon talking via digital camera on the internet to his wife, and a helicopter outside on the landing pad making loud white noise. I'm thinking of now, and trying to remember where and who I was during the first gulf war. Conclusion: my 6th grade classroom, and very stupid. I'll have to continue these another time. Your poetry is very intelligent and complex; it always takes a few readings to understand.
ShinigamiForever chapter 10 . 5/7/2003
Putting the title of this poem together with the actual poem is sad enough that it makes me wnat to cry. This is my favorite so far, I think.
ShinigamiForever chapter 8 . 5/7/2003
(a note: my last review was not 'lj", my computer screwed me over... -.-)

now small,

dark-haired men (little princes of

sweaty games) sit atop desks in

hallways, and like to smile.

I like those lines, but not so much the rest of the poem, it just doesn't quite click with me for some reason, but I really like the contrast of images you've used throughout the whole series so far.
ShinigamiForever chapter 7 . 5/7/2003
lj
ShinigamiForever chapter 5 . 5/7/2003
The contrast between the new automobile and the old automobile, and I adore your endings as always.
ShinigamiForever chapter 3 . 5/7/2003
That touched something deep right in me, the part about him remembering being young. This has such a lyrical feel, so nostalgic. I love it.
ShinigamiForever chapter 2 . 5/7/2003
The first stanza has to be my favorite, "this is when my hair grew long", and the line about the photographs. *laughs* I still love you, Marlene, even if I haven't been commenting for so long. *hugs*
leningrad chapter 5 . 5/4/2003
Its all brilliant. Its very good. I especially liked the hyacinth winds one.

K.
Kirney Slate chapter 1 . 4/27/2003
I figure there's so much here, I might as well just do it all in one large hunk, rather then small ones. So, sorry in advance for both the poor spelling and the gross length.

"Of Long hair and monochrome"

goodness. For someone who so normally sits opposite me on the political spectrum. It seems for once we may be en d'accord? Is this, perhaps a cry against the now typical, good v. bad, "monochrome" rhetoric?

Your use of Capitalization is well enjoyed.

The message that I got from this one is perhaps, protest?

(I say that tenitivly)

loved it!

"of Illness and broad shoulders"

Your sense of history once again astounds and confounds me. I simply love the Russia/Statue bit.

And the cryptic three lines:

"not since the explosion of the sky,

and the oil fires lit all the cigarettes he would not ever smoke."

What to make "Of Conrad and Atlanta"

chemical equasions and love by black oilfires left me in a daze.

"the last war happened when he was sixteen."

Good God. the humanity you bring to this poem, well it gives it a whole lot of density.

I realize I'm taking up a lot of room, I'll try to brief while I touch on "Of Automobiles and hyacinth winds"

I'll just say I loved the slight digressions, and

"his car is broken. it isn't new any longer."

"O Child"

This one fits in nicely.

It goes back to your other themes and just expands and connects, it lends depth to all of you other poems, on cars, on alleries, on the smoke, and the girls.

I would love to know what your thoughts were.

Let me just say I loved them all. I must go now, but every one is a gem, each with their own quirks and best lines which I can't say.

I left too many questions, and I would love to hear what your thoughts were when you wrote this, please, if you have the time, send a message my way.

my one suggestion is the tie ins. Please, more of them. "O Child" is my favorite because it ties in so well with the others, deepens all the others. Your digressions are truly beautiful, and when you back them up, they make your writing even more fluid and wonderful. Thanks for these beautiful poems.

-kirney

P.S. Sorry again for the spelling. And grammer.
Kievsky chapter 11 . 4/26/2003
Amazing. For raw emotion conveyed through words, this one wins. Striking finish.

Anyway, overall, I loved the collection. The only thing was that while reading this I kept thinking of the current situation and had to constantly remind myself that it was the LAST war. I could mostly pick out the different voices and personalities, except on that one poem, but I kept mixing up past and present.

I always have trouble finding just how to express my reactions to your poetry because it's so often just emotional, and all in the impression and delivery, and not something that can be easily picked out. Whatever it is, you do it very well.
Kievsky chapter 10 . 4/26/2003
This is so beautiful and forlorn; terse, but sacrifices no feeling for its length. It feels like it would be a sacrilege to pick it apart with analysis.
Kievsky chapter 9 . 4/26/2003
I couldn't see the character/personality in this one-it seemed to me to be much more historically oriented, of the collective Arab people rather than one viewpoint. This one also directly shows the after-effects of the initial invasion and then the sudden departure, and leads up to today's predicament.
Kievsky chapter 8 . 4/26/2003
The first three words are a great relief from the previous two poems. The alternation Eastern and Western imagery here seems a little bit choppy in the beginning, but it all comes together by the last stanza.
Kievsky chapter 7 . 4/26/2003
I will be an emotional wreck by the time I finish this series, I think...

but if so it would have been well worth it.

This one ranks a very close second to "O Child" as my favorite overall poems in the collection. The first section is so cheery, showing partly the attitude going into it historically and in the speaker's present, and then the rest of it is the reassurances.

I thought the last line kind of wrapped everything up, but in a dark way. It's like...the poem is a particularly melancholy sonata, and the last line is a C# minor chord in the lowest octave: beautiful but vaguely threatening, and it resonates forcefully alone for a few seconds at the end of the piece.
Kievsky chapter 6 . 4/26/2003
*absolute silence*

By no means, ever, by anyone, could anything like this be considered petty and stumbling.

This one definitely had the most emotional impact on me (with me considering several former children this could be addressed to). Before I was anywhere near the end I turned off the TV and my music just to finish it in quiet contemplation, and the only other thing I can say was,

i thought i was gonna cry...
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