Hey! Cool story so far! I like all the words in your language. And the sneaking out at night and riding around too, cuz I do that a lot. The only problem I have is with the paragraph structure, it makes it difficut to tell who is speaking sometimes, cuz usually you start a new paragraph when you change speakers...but it's not that bad. Anyway, cool story! Please continue!

~shinigami~

you could do "dark Loki" or Kygeru both are intriguing enough. But i was going to check out the 2nd chapter, but the formatting. I'm sorry i can't rad it that way. Please format it nomally, then leave a review for my story and i'll continue.

P.S Zane and Cele..err Kygeru are cute. Likes her more than a friend hmm...

_ till next time

-Belle