Reviews for Lost Old
Fink chapter 1 . 11/7/2008
You have a decent story line to work with, but you didn't develop it very well. You jump from one scene to the next with no warning. Then, your scenes are really short and choppy. If you put more thought into this then it would be a great story. You have potential, you just need to find it. My first suggestion would be to get a beta, someone to preview your story and help you to make sure it's up to par. It's kind of like an editor but hopefully your beta will be nicer and won't ask to be paid.
JazzeeT chapter 7 . 8/13/2003
it over. just like that. im sad now really i thought taht there would have been some closure. i love it though even though it was short. so the sequel what do u have in mind
Clifford chapter 2 . 5/15/2003
WHOO, 2nd chapter is already up so fast! The part I liked about this chapter was how you made Abigail and Michael meet again, where Abigal least expected, which makes a very intense moment when Abby finds out that it was Michael!
Pretty Senshi chapter 1 . 5/15/2003
Uh...just to let ya know...There is something behind that, and they have known each other longer than 1 day...but you'll just have to see.
brastscull chapter 2 . 5/14/2003
This is a good story, but it moves too fast. They knew each other for a day, he left, and she broods over him for a year? Perhaps if you had given them a little bit longer relationship it wouldn't be as confusing. The story line is really good though.
Janet chapter 3 . 5/14/2003
It's pretty good, and I liked most of it.. beginning from the 2nd. ] a few spelling errors too
Star Traveler chapter 1 . 5/13/2003
The story is suspenseful...I like it a lot. Um...don't understand the parents though...but that's okay...Just think on that and maybe come up with a way to improve that, but it's still really good.
Clifford chapter 1 . 5/13/2003
WOW, I SERIOUSLY can't wait till the next chapter. Damm you, 4 not giving me spoilers lol. You hollar me when you get your next chapter ok? I can't believe that Sean Fag* slapped Abigail!
BellezAzul chapter 1 . 5/12/2003
Hey! I think this story is going good so far! I think you need to update soon! I like where it's heading... Keep up the good work, kid! :o)
mary chapter 1 . 5/12/2003
hey good story i cant wait to read the next chpt watch ur spelling and make sure u dont skip words!