Reviews for Distortion
tarnished oversoul chapter 1 . 5/25/2003
sure, I had talent (you said pretty words don't matter).

sure, you had friends (I said conversation is overrated).

I always knew it would fall apart (I always changed the subject).

you knew everything else (you didn't remember how to be yourself).

Wow, that's about the extent of it. I think I'm addicted to your poetry, which sounds kind of bad because it's written in pain. I think I'm addicted to your pain.
miss meaningeverythingtome chapter 1 . 5/23/2003
...*eyes go wide* *adds to favorite stories*
toysoldier chapter 1 . 5/21/2003
rar. I can so... relate to this... and I love that it's addressed to someone... it makes it even more powerful. and it's personal... but not in a way that confuses the meaning. Really, really good job, I love it.
Paradoxical Goddess chapter 1 . 5/20/2003
wow. i seriously love this to death; the placement of everything, the divisions, the phrases...*gargles wordlessly*
sexy beast chapter 1 . 5/19/2003
very difficult to review, i will concur that this was a very personal poem with almost palatable seething texture to the words and sharp conotation however it was not so proflific as to warrant your best poem ever. your style is too dynamic to be termed with such a dimensionless catagorization as "best", maybe the personal references were so blatant as to make people deem it the most, but do you not weave in very personal emotions in many of your poems? some of the paranthesis in the beginning seemed a little unneccesary, yet later in the poem they added character. very multi-faceted (i caught the dredg reference) i think i liked parts 2 and 3 better, just because each consecutive stanza added a new dimension to the description. i am not out of thoughts on your poem but i am out of words so i will conclude this here.
sweetspontaneous chapter 1 . 5/19/2003
there is no such thing as too much drama. and that- that was just amazing. i know i have to say something to convey the idea of exactly how -much- i liked (no, loved) that poem, but i can't at all think of anything sufficiently breathless-with-admiration. i'll just say that it was way too god damn good, and leave it at that, i guess.
lemoncane chapter 1 . 5/18/2003

thats funny, amaris! i like the bitch bich bitch part!
firefaerie chapter 1 . 5/18/2003
I found you through my friends' lists. A very powerful poem, your words are amazing. Why would you lead him on into thinking that you were friends for seven years if he was nothing to you?
Oba chapter 1 . 5/18/2003
I don't know what really happened on Thursday? Was it? I wish I was there. I probably would have budded some unneccessary comment, but still, I wish I was there.

The writing is, like always, good stuff. The parenthesis in the first stanza comes from pure creativity and imagination. The 'sure's, also... Would you want these types of comments on a subject like this?
FalseExecutioner chapter 1 . 5/18/2003
Great just great. you got alittle more agressive line by line and this is one of your bes
the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 5/18/2003
Goodness. This was obviously a very personal poem, and it's chock full with hidden meanings and emotions that I can't quite grasp completely. I love how you put in definitions to separate the different parts of the poem. Hostile tea and menacing letters...brr.

"when was the last time you made sure you were real?"

That line really leaped out at me...

Keep writing! Peace ~~
Commie chapter 1 . 5/17/2003

All the parentheses are kind of annoying, but they balance "normal" text. Still saying you should capitalize at least the beginning of new stanzas.

ELECTRONEGATIVITY! (HA! Someone's crazy in love with Chemistry!). Socialist revolution? Me likes. HA! REACTIONARIES! HAHAHAHAHA. The chess game thing makes you sound like Kasparov after he lost to Deep Blue.

The ending stanza is cool. (Sorry for the lack of good review)
Glass November chapter 1 . 5/17/2003
Amazingly real...I love the way you've formatted it, dividing the words and combining them so incredibly simply and eloquently. Excellent constrast with regard to views and ideas...if this started out as reality, you've done a wonderful job translating it so that it lives on, in pixels...

"I always knew it would fall apart (I always changed the subject).

you knew everything else (you didn't remember how to be yourself)." Possibly my favorite line, and, in my opinion, the most fitting way possible to end the poem.

This piece was particularly real to me, though that's probably simply because you've written it so descriptively...but thanks, anyway; it was beautiful art...

I do apologize for the delay in reviewing...finals should be outlawed...
account inactive00000 chapter 1 . 5/17/2003
ah, personal is right. this is more personal than anything i have ever written, and it is so powerful. i love the nihilist lines...and the interspersed definitions. wonderful. completely