Reviews for Marie : A Journey Through Immortality
CrimsonSentry chapter 4 . 7/8/2007
AFter her mother agrees to let her go outside telling her to take Jean with her:

"I have my mother a hug before I ran off to the town square."

I think you mean gave not have.

Intriguing story by the way.
pockets are my friends chapter 30 . 4/19/2006
Hello, I just finished reading your last chapter and I must say that I cannot wait for the next one to be uploaded. I adore your story. Keep up the good work.
sitabird chapter 20 . 1/6/2006
I've read 20 chapters so far, and barely anything has happened. From your summary, you made it seem like this would be an exciting and adventurous story...but so far, it's been ordinary and bland. What was the point of chapter 19? Was there anything at all in that chapter that contributed to the storyline? To quote Marie, I'm bored...of this story. I can’t stand soap opera’s for the same exact reason...I think your readers are going to be dropping like flies if you keep going on like this. I’m not going to read any more. But if I were you, I would seriously consider taking out some of the extra “filler fluff” as I like to call it, and add some more interesting events. I don’t know the technical term for it, but “filler fluff” is what I call pointless/random words or sentences you add into your paper, (mostly for school) to make it seem longer. Maybe then it’ll be more interesting. I apologize for my harshness...~Sita
Burnt Bread chapter 30 . 1/4/2006
Shocking, shocking, shocking. No horse race I've ever watched was that interesting... Damn, this chapter was really an edge seater. What I want to know now was - was this race rigged so that Luc would win? Why would his father care that he gave away his horse for a better one? Or doesn't he know... herm. Is Laurent going to die? Or just never walk again... the tension in this chapter was built reall well.
Tosh chapter 29 . 1/1/2006
Uah... your writing is so beautiful and something is about to happen! U didn't update for so long, I was so surprised to find a new chapter. WEll done, once again, of course. I agree- the world will go to hell with people poluting it the way they are and the minority holding the reigns to the world. I shall recreate it oneday. Anyway, this long chapter had me totally immersed and now my heart is racing in anticipation for the next chapter... right. Marie's father seems like such an a-hole. Turkeys Only Smash Heads
neilfatea chapter 28 . 7/12/2005
An interesting and intriguing chapter. I'm not sure where it is going. For once I'm at a loss, well done
La petite malaine chapter 28 . 7/10/2005
Interesting, very interesting. Great new developments, I do love intrigue. Her mysterious illness is no doubt linked to our audacious Larissa. Very - The Shard is up and kicking, check it out.
tosh chapter 27 . 6/7/2005
How to kill the undead? This is a somewhat new twist to the story. Is this a vampire story? Unnyway, the story is progressing faster now, are we nearing a climax? There are some minor spelling mistakes, but no one cares. Why is Marie bored with the dog after just a night? And when is she going to see Louie again?

Twin Ostrichs Shall Hatch
tosh chapter 26 . 6/7/2005
what's with Luc and the maid? Who is the maid? What is it that Marie's family is hiding from her? So many questions. I like the ending with the dog, but in reality, the action that follows from letting a puppy sleep on your bed is poo. Good chapter though, I shal go on the read the next.

Two Oyster Shells Hyperventilate
tosh chapter 25 . 6/7/2005
dun dun dun!* Enter another male! Chapters are getting long. I see now that the short chapters in front were just a ploy! You updated so many times without me noticing. I will go on to read the rest before i comment. I hope i havent replied to this chapter twice...

Trees on Shady Hill
azerix chapter 1 . 5/16/2005
Hello! I'm azerix. i've stumbled onto your story, and found myself reading it all the way through. if you don't mind, i'd like to give some comments.

First, the bad: I note that this story is mainly characterization: a romantic episode that is extended in multiple chapters. You often say "noblegirl" and refer to nobility in your text, which I began to find repetitive. Try less obvious ways of talking up her nobility, perhaps in the dialogue, or the treatment of the servants. You also tend to overemphasize her features and bring features of other characters seemingly out of the blue [ref. luc's blue eyes] sublty would be great perhaps in Marie noticing luc's eyes a particular shade of blue. The boredom in the upperclass is too overemphasized and tends to consume the story. For 27 chapters, i get not any horror as promised and find myself disappointed. I know she's supposed to be fourteen for most of the story, but i feel as if she's 11 or 12. I keep imagining her like Kirsten Dunst in Interview With A Vampire: eternally young, demanding, almost whiney, but strong. She seems to complain a lot, but not a lot of action is taken aside from the trip outside and the letters. Overly dependent on Louie for experience? She's very indecisive despite signs in the characterization that point to her quick wit. Perhaps too internal, an outside view would be an interesting twist of narration and possibly provide and new insightful information. the plot needs some serious development. the story doesn't seem to be going anywhere particularly horrific. that might pick up the further we go along, granted. but in these 27 chapters, i haven't really seen anything that causes me to dread. no mindless horror scenes, true, but no horror at all. that might be important as it's classified horror. overly romantic, but not cheesy.

Okay, now that the hell is over, the good: i kept reading, which is a big thing for me since i tend to quickly lose interest if i feel the story is waning. your story of course has strong bones for something quite epic and really intrigues me-dare i say, inspires me. french romanticism is an especially commendable nod with the french included. bravo. i commend your efforts in translation, and maintaince of character identity-way to stick to your guns. i'm definitely wondering what will happen with this daring rogue and this budding rogue, Marie. She seems to be realizing her growing irritation with nobility and finding herself more inclined to say fuck it to it all.

i like the story and definitely intend to keep reading. i'm sorry if i came off as brash, rude and curt. but i believe in giving you the truth. i don't like to simply say good story as i might of in the past, or not review if i didn't like something. it's not very writerly of me to do so. continue updating, i'll continue reading.

with care,

azerix
la petite malaine chapter 27 . 5/15/2005
Nice new chapter.I certainly hope she will find that dog to be a fantastic companion as time goes on. Good little insert of plot development in there with the book. Was that foreshadowing I saw in the letter about horses?Good work all around,Malaine
neilfatea chapter 27 . 5/14/2005
an excellent chapter, let the intrigue increase. How long will Zuchy survive living in the stable?
La petite malaine chapter 26 . 4/9/2005
I don't know why I haven't been getting your chapters sent to me but what a tragic mistake!any how, I was checking through my reviews and found that you had updated!Great developments, I am so glad that louie didn't abandon her and it's a very thoughtful made the relationships in the family very clear and developed them nicely.I am so incredibly curious about louie and the secrets in this family. I can not wait for a quick rememinder that I am french as blazes and if you need any language que's I am at your -rock on.
Kay chapter 26 . 3/31/2005
I really love this continue because I can't wait t find out what happens.
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