Reviews for Him
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 4/22/2005
THough I am still not completly sure what this is all about, though I guess that adds to the mystery, the fun of trying to figure out your way of interpiting it. I really liked this, it was sweet in my eyes but also held this dark but beautiful image to them. ; For some reason I was thinking of Satan or other religous figures, I don't know why. ) Well done though! The format really brings out its power and the emotion.

!~* Noelle *~!
aleppine chapter 1 . 9/11/2003
I love this. I have always loved a lack of punctuation in poetry. It gives an endless feel to the poem. Someone on this site dissed me once for not using punctuation. Fool.

The structure; I like it a lot. Sentences broken off at just that right point to flow into the next line; you've done it well. 'Splashes of darkness' - 'swimming with delicious apology' - excellent imagery. And of course, the last two lines.

Really well done.

You could always run away back to London. The guys here don't wear pink. I'd say no-one had their heads up their arses, but then I'd be lying, because there's this man called Tony Blair. And Latin rocks.
amicusveritas chapter 1 . 9/11/2003
"When love turns an immortal into a God" Even with your authors note I am not sure what you had as a meaning, but...perhaps mystery is part of a poem, Hidden Years...regards...amicus
godawful teen-angst poetry chapter 1 . 9/10/2003
oh...my. That's so incredibly cool...I love the Wagner reference, I love it when people allude to famous people/works in their own work. Er. Right. Anyways. Tres cool!
M.D. Cantine chapter 1 . 9/9/2003
Thsi is very good. I like it.
these kids chapter 1 . 9/4/2003
That was a truely inspiring peace of work. I imagined a dark night with the stars hining bright and the god of the sun shooting the arrow rising the sun. (like in Fantasia almost) oh well. thats probably not what you meant it to be :) but I liked it a lot.
tofujunky chapter 1 . 8/23/2003
Good descriptions. I find it very deep, it brought out a certain undescribable feeling when I was reading it. Kind of like love and yearning, but much more.
handle187 chapter 1 . 8/23/2003
Good s* ! That's a very good description of love.
ThisCatharticNail chapter 1 . 8/22/2003
this is very intimate. Reading it, it is almost as if i was the one thinking the thoughts, as if i had written this. A good, empathetic piece. Well written, and concise.

p.s. thank you for your comments. i appreciate them very much.
MoLay chapter 1 . 7/16/2003
i like how you make short poetry work for you!

The fact that you capitalized "Him" and "His" is a better way to indicate that you saw him as a god than to just say it-good job; but why not pull the summary into the poem...tweak it and take it to another level.
One With Moonlight chapter 1 . 7/13/2003
Wonderful work, me likes. I love the beauty of free verse, and you've done a magnificent job of showing that aspect in your poem. Yes, quite lovely. Quite lovely indeed.
romanticvomitx chapter 1 . 7/9/2003
man...this sucks...i mean...dude, wheres the..actuall poem?
Animagess chapter 1 . 7/6/2003
Not bad... I almost liked the summary better, though, just because the subject fits the poem so well without either having to be explicitly stated. It seemed a little disjointed and unconnected though, kind of like 'found' poetry.
bestbuddy chapter 1 . 6/12/2003
Good. I like your use of free prose. That is something I'm not brave enough to do.
Roses and Candles chapter 1 . 5/29/2003
What is the mening of this thing, I completely was confused...You didn't have a point. I'm this dude's friend I have something to say about it: IT SUCKS! I am not I a poem writer and I know this is bad it is worse than my little sister's crap, you call yourself a poem writer You suck. THIS IS BULLSHIT!
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