lol okay, first of all, before i get into general conclusive remarks, i thought i'd point out a little mishap in this last chapter: when she wakes up, cirus exclaims that she's been in a coma for two years, then follows that up a few lines later with a statement that they've been married for one year. so ya, unless he married her whilst she was unconscious . . . :P anyway, moving on.

this was a very interesting story. i very much enjoyed the characters you created ~ they seem to be your strong point, all unique and distinct in their own rights. the guy characters especially seemed fleshed out and complex to me. so good job with the characters! :D

i have some constructive criticism (since i lap it up myself when i get it, and since you obviously have tons of potential as a writer). there were a lot of really fantastic elements to this story, and i enjoyed them all oh-so-much, but after a certain point the plot became utterly lost on me. because, alright, up to the point where he kills her the first time, there was a definite goal and a definite reason for their being in that situation. and it really interested me, i mean i wanted to watch their relationship evolve and develop, and the supernatural elements of the world intrigued me, etc. after that though, to be completely honest . . . i got entirely lost. i felt a bit like alice falling deeper, and deeper, and still deeper down an unfathomable rabbit hole. i LOVED all the individual bits, they were great, but they were so fragmented that the overall story suffered from it, i guess. i adore Xaveran, but i think you should absolutely introduce him much earlier.

now, i know that all this was basically a dream sequence, so it's possible to argue that you're very much allowed - if not required - to make the story fragmented. and i agree, now that i know it wasn't real, that it is more authentic if you do that. but i think that it would make the dream stronger if you backed it with moments of solid, grounded reality. if you don't then it goes flying through time and space, and while dreams are indeed extremely interesting to read, if you go for really long periods of time living in them, they disorient you, it becomes a series of disconnected developments that don't lead to anything (i.e.- oh look, she's not human anymore, now she has wings and pointed ears . . . oh look, her mother and grandmother were never real to begin with . . . oh look, its some guy she used to be madly in love with during some lifetime before who she doesn't remember . . . etc.). basically, i guess what i'm trying to say, is give her a specific plot and purpose right from the beginning and make sure she basically follows it, even though she might birdwalk from time to time. it'll give your reader something to cling to during the non-linear parts. personally i think it might be cool if you made the entire weird dream into one chapter, and then used it to explain how it affects her in real life - especially if she's a seer (unless that was part of the dream too? :S) - it'd be like a premonition she'd have to take special care to warp to her own advantage.

but i definitely like your actual writing style ~ you write clearly and describe scenes well and create environments expertly (seriously, i was completely sucked into the environment every time you created one, and since the environment changed like ever fifteen seconds, that's really saying something - you have an AMAZING talent for that).

anyway, hope this has been at least a little bit helpful. as i said, you've got a lot of talent and even more potential! and hey, you're to be applauded for just *finishing* a story (so many people start them and never finish them :)! good work, chica. write on! ;)

ah, so this entire story was basically a dream of past events . . . that explains quite a bit. :) onward to the last chapter!

so wait, the last CHAPTER was in the present, and this one's in the past? eh, i'm so utterly confused! lol. i'm glad she's back with Xaveran though. i like jesse's character.

hm. i really don't know what to think, still, so i'll just keep going. :)

once again, very interesting. must read on.

*sigh* oh, the turmoil. i really, really like xaveran . . . still confused though, gonna keep reading.

okay. i really don't know what to think. it seems i'm becoming hopelessly lost between dreams, memories, and reality. gah! may clarity and explanations be forthcoming! :)

but . . . i thought she was a reincarnation of nao? *sigh* anyway, i love rei. got to read more and sort all this out. and do they still have to stop the one guy who returned to power from destroying the world? questions, questions . . .

O_O

well. that explains a lot.

ah, ze plot is back on track, just as i had hoped! yay! :D good work.

lol wow, rei's quite a character, isn't he? not what i was expecting, but i do like him. it's an interesting story, but i'm losing sight of the main plot at this point - it's almost like it's a little *too* fractured, you know? well, perhaps things will clear up pretty soon here. nice work. :)

lol, hm, well i'm slightly inclined to forgive him for killing her now . . . but i don't think i will entirely until he consciously remembers doing it and regrets it. yay he calls her by her actual name in this world! hehe! :D onward!

lol wow, this is extremely bizarre. must keep reading. :)

argh! he killed her! what a bastard! i so hate him now! ! ! *seethe*fume*seethe* sigh. okay, well, this is a very intriguing web you're weaving, i'm really curious to see where it goes. and i kind of want him to really regret killing her. :)

hm, yes, i am indeed confused, but also quite intrigued. i shall see what the next chapter has to say about this. :)