Reviews for Lights
Alzemu chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
'the widow' the window

Quite short for a chapter in my personal opinion but i guess different people have different taste...
ice flyer chapter 1 . 7/29/2006
The plot seems interesting, and your character seems like a real...character. You've given him a personality already, which is good.

My comment would be that there were a LOT of grammar and spelling mistakes. I know it might be secondary to the actual plot, but grammar and spelling are REALLY important for first impressions. Also, practically every sentence had the subject "he" and the third paragraph, most sentences began with "he." Maybe some variation?

I think the story probably has potential, but maybe some ruthless editing would be the biggest help at the moment. Keep going though! :)
Zooming chapter 6 . 6/17/2004
HEY YOU USAR ABOVE AL USARS! (lookis like SARS... YOU ARE TEH SARS CARRIER YO! not really... XD) Anyways, I'm sorry Lynn chan, that my printer sucks to inferno! *cry cry* Anyways, you were right! I'm sorry for making you stress out so much about that single paragraph! Anyways. John and Sythe's arguement was cute! AW! I WANTED TO EAT THEM! SO CUTE! *smashes them together in cruel twist of fate* Aw, they'll drive each other mad. Which'll be cute! OOH I LOVE COUPLES LIKE THAT! If they get together.. eventually... *stares* O_O;; Anyways, yeah.

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT RANDOM! GO ME! OH JECK SJEAH! I'M THE CULLEST YO! not really... (is being wierd)
B
Anyways, BLACK MOCKS JOHN BECAUSE JOHN LACKS THROWING DART SKILLS! HWUAHAHAHAHA! Black doesn't kill people cool. T_T I thought there'd be more thwacking and slicing and blood-splutting like in your little smibbits you write in that composition notebook. Not that I want blood splutting and stuff, mind you! O_O; Anyways, I bet Black can throw darts better than john! WO! I bet this review is loaded with ERRORS! I heart John, but John doesn't heart you anymore... because o stuff.. ;;

GO DAN! "QUIET!" Hehehehehehe. Anyways, I never got that rant about this chapter you promised me. Yopu promised me you'd rant! You LID! ebil...ebil... EBIULIOSHIOUS CHILD! I mean... not ebil... psuedo evil... heheh, you team rocketer wanna-ish-be! J/m. Anyways, I'm sorry for destroying your review pa with this ever so useless review. What I really meant to say was:

This chapter was really good! I can't wait to see what happens next! I mean, why does Sythe want to speak to Black so bad! I have to KNOW! (even tough I already do...) Packed with spelling and gramma errors, but ehh, I'm not one to speak. Igot the gist of it and it was good! YAY! please update soon, k! Thankies!

((P.S. Why don't YOU give me speshul long reviews of nothingness anymore? *cry cry*))
Zooming chapter 5 . 5/13/2004
HEY! It's ME! You're best friend who loves to annoy the heck out of you! "AWSOME" isn't it? Anyways..

Black wasn't in this chapter. How NOT COOL! Just messing. I wonder what he's up to. Was he the cause of that scream? hm? I really do wonder. Silly John. Checking out the beautiful ladies! LOL. Just messing. AH! John called Black bad things. So mean! Poor Black! He shouldn't stand for these injustices even if some of what john says is true...

Silly silly, pain resistant Dan! yuck... six inch stick. That has seriously got to cause some owwies. ROFL, I like the way John and Dan met! SO FUNNY! Dan reminds me of you. You're always like "Oh, look! A chunk of my flesh has been ripped out! Would you look at that?" *blood gushes everywhere* Okay, maye that was a bit exaggerated.

Anyways, check over some of your sentences. They can be confusing at time. And of COURSE spelling. But besides those, your usual problems, this chapter is UBER AWESOME! ;;

ANYWAYS! Love this chapter! Heck, I love ALL your chapters! But this one too, even though Black wasn't in this. I thought it was pretty long, until I read it, and it felt, well, PAINFULLY short... BECAUSE I WANTED MORE! Hey, with our little game down tonight YOU have time to update! YEah! LOL, but you don't have to! It'd be REALLY cool if you did, though. Must... have... more... PLOT! *crawls on grab reaching out for plot* MORE STORY! Please! I wanna see what happens next! You left us hanging...EVIL! Update soon k? See ya!

~Sleepy Shadow Mistress (AKA Megumi)
cheese tramon chapter 4 . 4/9/2004
nice. keep writing
Zooming chapter 4 . 12/25/2003
YAY! You should have seen the surprise on my face when I saw the author alert email. Oh my gosh, I was just so giddy with happiness. I know you promised but for some reason I just didn't expect it! Silly me! I should have known you'd come through!
Sythe Sythe Sythe Sythe yay! Sythe came! *stares at Black* This is going to mean trouble isn't it? I love the way you wrote this chappie Lynn-chan! The way you made Sythe appear, how everyone reacted to everything, the last paragraph! Gulp. Is this FORESHADOWING! *stares around* So Black ADMITS Sythe is powerful? Mwuahahahaha. Ahem, I'm wierd. Wait, so Black somehow knows John? Queer... now I must spend the rest of my break pondering this...ho hum... I MISS YOU...okay sorry. HOW DOES BLACK KNOW JOHN? Geez Lynn, trying to kill me with suspense! What's going to happen with Black-sama? Tell me Tell me Tell me! (I just realized this is a TOTALLY unintelligent review... OH WELL) Know I must weasel out of you why Black recognizes John... Actually, it'll be better if I find this out later, but still! I wanna know! So is Sythe going to travel with Dan and John? I'm kind of a bit glad that John's okay. I know I'm bad, but still! I'm not rooting against Black, cuz Black-sama's the coolest! Anyways, I don't want Emily beating on me! (who am I kidding) Anyways, I want to know about John! ahyem. I admire Dan. I like him better cuz of this chapter. He's very courageous, and loyal to his friend, but John seems really cool. Mwuahahaha, but Black's the coolest of them all! And you KNOW I think Sythe's cool with her mad white magic skills. I know something that everyone else doesn't know! nyanyanya nya nyanya! *taunt taunt* Chicken pot PIEyoo.
Oh yeah, you gigaciously good writer, a mare is a female horse. Is Black's horse a girl? I always thought that, oh well. Just in case my suspicions are correct then a guy horse is a stallion, yes. But if I was wrong this whole time of timeness, then sorry for wasting space.
This chapter was Bocaciously good! Mad Black skills. I want more! I WANT MORE NOW! Please give me more chapters soon. *humunckally big begging eyes* (don't you just luve the way I twist words?) Must find out what's going to happen to everyone. I'll implode if you don't tell me, just like the ring wraith king of the Nazgul of whatevermajig he is! GIMME THE NEXT CHAPTER. please. Yay! Please get it out soon! Thank you Lynn-chan! I'm going to bug you to death about the next chappie, k? You can count on it! (If his review gets distoted someone will PAY) Okay, gimme the next chapter. soon. now. soon. K, thank you! Great chappie! Bai bai!
~Sleepy Shadow Mistress (Megumi)
Zooming chapter 3 . 12/13/2003
Heheheh...where would you be without me always hounding you for the next chapter? You'd be still on the second chapter and I could poke my chobby little finger and laugh laugh and just keep laughing...like tatertots... *remembers white dragon and growls at Kilva...* Anyways... WAH! Black! *grabs throat in pain* WAH! My THROAT! WAH! MY WRIST! WHY AM I SO FRICKIN EMPATHETIC TO PEOPLES PAIN? Who gave me that curse anyways... *SNIFFLE*... THE HORSE! HE JACKED THE HORSE! WHY! *sniffles* The coolest horse ebar...I think... HORSIE! ut Blak's okay and thats good! If he wasn't okay... then the moon would fall on top of emily and she would die for the like 86th time, staplers would start singing the evangelion theme song, I would fall in love with my pet carrot 'shrcot' which I just ate and you will somehw be married to gannondorf! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Isn't that a pure evil thought? So just don't do it... Well, actually you can hurt him all you want...just don't kill him! cuz that would be evil... EVVIL! I'm sorry it took me so friggin long to review... I was being lazy... VERY LAZY! *huggles Lynn chan* I LOVE YOUR WRITING! It's short but it's good and you guessed my reactions perfectly...it was like you were pissaichick! You must have got it from me who got it from...my pissaichick pillow... M -agic P -ower...but not really! heehehe HA A! A? Ahem we! Anyways, I love your writing and its very good! I can't wait to see this totally play out! Ahem! and Black WILL get bck his horse...HE WILL! *stares grinning innocently* Don't you even think about stopping this story til its finished, k? K! I like your writing too much for that...oh yea, you hve awsome fight scenes! tehe
Oh yes, you need to have the next chapter up by christmas! or did you forget? If you did, I'm reminding you! You promised me! *grins evilly* I DO pla on holding you to that promise! See you next chapter Lynn chan! Great chapter! bai bai!
(FIRE EMMBLEEM!)
~Sleepy Shadow Mistress (Megumi)
Three Little Sorcerers chapter 2 . 10/28/2003
Oh...

So, is Black some evil guy, or Robin Hood or something ?

It seems that many people fear him...

The Libarian, what is her name again... Oh, yeah, Katherine.

John and Dan...

The horsie (Just kiddin')

Sounds like Black is some dark evil person who cannot be stopped...

I like your story. It's better than I thought
Three Little Sorcerers chapter 1 . 10/28/2003
Hmm

Short chappie

I can't guess much on what is about to happen...

A old teen waking up from a nightmare and then heading to the libary...

Sounds good... you mentioned magic !

Yes, I have time after seeing your story. Going to read the next chappie, bye.
Shinigami-san chapter 2 . 8/22/2003
Good chapter! _ Sorry I took so long to R&R, I haven't been on FP much lately. Continue soon! This was quite good with lots of detail. I could just see it all in my head
Megumi chapter 2 . 8/12/2003
Konnichiwa, Lynn-chan! I love your story! How many times have I told you that before? I hope a lot, cuz I think you write very good! VERY VERY GOOD! *huggles* I want your writing skilluz! *sighs* I like the action! your swordfights are so cool! I want to eat them! *chomps* Ow. *pulls out thing that was poking her mouth* Stupid swords. Eheheh. Cornyness. I'm becoming like you! OH MY GOSH! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO! AH! I don't WANT TO BE LYNN! *screams in horror* But then, if I get to be Lynn then I get her mad writing skilluz! hehehehehe...sounds like a GREAT plan to me! Ert, sorry. Just being wierd. Anyways Lynn, I think you're cool (sucks up...sucks up...not really though! I'm not suckin up! *looks around nervously*), I just wouldn't want to be you because I like being myself, so don't be hurt! I think your a good person...sometimes! Naww! I love you! You're my best friend! *huggles* But there are times...ehem...

But enough of that! Oh yeah! I noticed that Jessica reviewed! How cool! She should get an account here so she can leave signed reviews and write stories and we can keep in touch with her! Haven't talked with her in quite a while! I'd like to see her write some fiction! I'd like to read them to see what they're like! Probably way better than mine... So anyways, that brings me to why I reviewed TWICE! (hm...aren't YOU lucky! 2 reviews from me! What more could you ask for? jp) Ehem, back to the subject. You have 8 reviews now, and that's counting this one of course! 4 per chap! Someone even added you to their favorites list! how cool is that? You should respect us people and give us the next chapter! Yes! GIVE US THE NEXT CHAPPIE! I'm sure we would ALL appreciate it! (hm...*wonders if this review is longer than her last* oh well) I've been waiting! (hmm...like I'm to talk. I haven't updated my stories in like forever! Oh well! I'm trying!) So get your booty off AMZ for two seconds and type the next chapter, please? (god I sound horrible! Let's try this nicer...or at least make it sound more like I typed it myself!)

Lynn CHAN! Can you PLEASE update your story! I really want to know whats going to happen! I'm desperate! DESPERATE! I'M A DESPERATE GIRL! Ahem, as I was saying, I REALLY REALLY LIKE YOUR STORY! Someday you should publish it! I could be your fake wannabe editor! That's probably all I'm good for anyways...(*sighs* I'm horrible aren't I?) I think you write very good and I'd kill for your skilluz. you write much better than I! And I'm sure the story plot will be very wonderful when it all folds out! But that's just it, I want to read more and me being the impatient little loser of a friend that I am are really looking forward to the next chapter so it would be realli cool if you got it out or at least work on it a bit. But then again its sort of my fault too! What with me and everyone else over there's not much you can do so I better shut up and stop buggin you! And anyways, there was that LONG vaction so can't blame you. Me on the other hand... Anyways, take as long as you like, but please don't let me die waiting okay? Cuz, like, Black is really cool, and you KNOW I always try to squeeze every little fact about him out of you! I want to know how the story turns out and whats going to happen with him! I KNOW you won't kill him! You WONT! *gets over protective of Black-sama*) It unerves me that there's so much I don't know about him and I know it shouldn't cuz he's your character and I really shouldn't be so nosy and overly curious and protective about him, but he's so cool! And he hates SL! How cool is that? He should join my frickin SL haters club! Yea Sairi! How would you like that? Naw, Sairi, just kidding. But I will NEVER join your SL fan club! NEVAR! Okay? Cuz he's evil and I hate him! Well most of the time. *ahem* Yes. Poor people who don't know wut the heck I'm talking about! Anyways, I was going to make this review before you went on vacation but I sort of prolongued and put it off! eheheh. I just want to ask you to please update cuz I really love reading your story! Teehee! Oh yes, you'll hear about this a lot tomorrow...but then I don't expect you to read this by then! In fact I'll probably end up telling you about this review! If I did...I say: See I told you so! You are readin this because I told you to! Bwuahahahahaha!... If you just found this without me: Ignore the above staement. Ahem. Anyways. Please update soon!

Sorry for wasting so much space! Fogrive me... (Dang! I think this is my longest review evar! Must draw many stares! Yes! BWUAHAHAHAHA! Power to me!) K, see you next chappie! Bai bai, Lynn chan! *waves like SM* Bye bye! Ahem, k BAI!

~Megumi (Sleepy Shadow Mistress)
Jessica chapter 1 . 8/12/2003
*gasps*

That was one cool way to start it off!

*Blushes*

I put the reviews out of order! I got to go. Bye!

P.S.

The E-mail I put was a fake one. Just to let you know! Bye!
Jessica chapter 2 . 8/12/2003
I think that it is great so far. All that writing in class paid off! lol!

Black is so cool!
Sairi chapter 2 . 7/27/2003
*sits on chair, mouth hanging open*

O.O

*in shock*

O.O

Wow, that's a nice chapter! I really like this chapter! *STEALS* MINE! ..

O.O

-_-;

wow. That's all I can say. WOW. WOWOWOW. dang it, now why can't I type like that!

*grumbles, walking off. Runs back*

Make a Dark Cloud story! o.o;

Once again, for this chapter..

WOW

seriously. and I really gotta stop skipping lines. It's wasting space. -_-;; geez. alrighty, I'm waiting for the next chapter! waaiting! *sings* waiting, waiting, waiting.. xD heh. no, I'm not hyper. I always do this. HA! ..even ask Megumi n Lynn. o.o;

CHAPTER 3! Get it now! Whenever I'm using the computer at your house, just freakin' kick me off! xD
Sairi chapter 1 . 7/27/2003
Hey San-chan! I forgot to submit a review for this chapter, huh? -_-;; sorry! I already read it, but I never submitted a review. Anywho, nice chapter! xD spelled spontanious wrong! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. uhm, spontanious and hoof, not hove, and, and window, not widow, hoping, not hopping. xD something else too! I FORGOT! DUM DUM DUM... O.O xD anyway, I'm gonna go read chapter2 now. hhehehe, look out for those misspelled words. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. o.o;

~Sairi
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