Reviews for I Had A Dream Last Night
laerai chapter 1 . 6/11/2004
I really enjoyed this. It was very dreamlike, and the symbolism and imagry was superb. I do think it needs a slight bit of a look-over with structure and rhyme. I thought you were going to make this a rhyming poem, due to the first few lines, which started off nicely, but then the scheme dropped. It's an altogether nice job though! Keep writing!
duelpersonality chapter 1 . 1/11/2004
This is great, tahayov. Very expressive. Keep up the good work!
Light in my eyes chapter 1 . 9/14/2003
Beautiful!
Incrys chapter 1 . 6/16/2003
(You didn't need to ask me to review your work; I always return the favor )

This was a decent poem, the rhythem was good, and of course we all like to have dreams like that ::grins::
Caustic Git The chapter 1 . 6/5/2003
The sentiment here is beautiful... Some of lines need cleaning up, though.

"Cause your beautiful eyes shone in it like xenon lights." I would make something like "Cause your beautiful eyes shone to me like xenon lights."

"Were you held my heart and it had a picture in it,

It had the picture of you sweet angel carved in it,

You took its key and I didn't mind that,

Because I know that it will be safe in your hand."

Where, not were. (Blasted words that typo like other words. ~) Honestly, I'm not sure that I get this part. The lines are definately messing up the rhythm, and I'm not sure what it's talkin about. A picture on your heart... and a key? Maybe I'm missing something...

"Ohh baby please come to me everynight,

In a dream like the one I had last night."

Is the extra 'h' in "Ohh" intentional? I would add a 'that' to the last line: "In a dream like the one that I had last night."

You have a beautiful vision when you write. I'm really very impressed. Your profile says you're from Egypt- is English your first language? If not, I'm REALLY impressed! LoL.

I'd like to invite you to an ezine my friend and I run, called 'Damn Pens!'. We have our first issue (le gaspe) at oohlalafaya and a message board ( /) with an as yet tiny community that critiques one another's work. If you have something you'd like to submit for our next issue, just use the appropriate board in the forum. I'd LOVE to see you there!

-CRG
Macotee chapter 1 . 5/31/2003
so sweet. I love your poems!
ChaoticDestiny48 chapter 1 . 5/31/2003
is this based on a dream u really had? and are ur poems all about the same person? u should really show this stuff to the person ur writting it for.
Strange-Glowing-Cat-Elf chapter 1 . 5/30/2003
sometimes it ryhms, someitmes it doesn't, and sounds more like song than a poem _
FrostFireChild chapter 1 . 5/30/2003
its got a very gentle feel to it but the second to last line kind o pulls away from that feel.
Craven chapter 1 . 5/29/2003
wow. that was deep. i feel fuzzy. lol. i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really reallyreally really really really really really really really really really really really liked that one
iustus chapter 1 . 5/24/2003
I like this.

The only things I would change is the title and the rythm doesn't always fit. But you're the author and authors know best. ;)

Love you, li'l brother.
CancerianQueen chapter 1 . 5/23/2003
Wow! That's written really well! :) Well done!

Keep writing,

Vnomi. ;)
Seishinseii chapter 1 . 5/23/2003
Well! Yeah, I took your advice and are reading the new poems. ;)That was a bit... how do i say this... KICK-ASS! heh. that wasn't really funny- so what? Going to read your other one now, Ciao!

)Love Ya, Aishiteru, Itsudemo, Itsumademo
Sun-Kissed Lover chapter 1 . 5/20/2003
I like! I like!