Reviews for Klacialand
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 10 . 1/17/2004
0_0 I can't believe I didn't notice this *puts on author alert* Anyways . . . ahmm . . .
First off, whoa, major description at first, very poetic like, it flowed nicely.
No trees or hills blocked their view of the plains stretching out from the left, right and front of them as far as they could see. The stars’ luminous light wrapped up this dark, flat world, yet the black sea underfoot was undisturbed except for a silver winding path that was appearing. It gradually became stronger as the travellers stood, and lay there, twinkling in the dark.
0_0 *is in total awe*
And you kept doing it too, and Anna muses about her past, awsome. One part I think you should look at.
In other words, my sister wants to know why you are here.” Eric advised Leapyquick.
There's nothing wrong with this, per say. But I'd cut out the 'advise" and put in said. Advise . . . just sounds . . . a bit strange, but perhaps that's just me.
-Belle
P.S: New chapters of SGs are up.
Fans'R Us chapter 2 . 9/14/2003
Yea it is a bit naniaish, but that's okay. I did notice that you tend to switch tenses a lot...you really should fix that. Other than that, it's pretty good, but you need to edit it.

I see why I should've read the second chapter, and I've updated mine, so you can read a few more chapters...
Brooke Oriley chapter 3 . 9/4/2003
eek! evil witches and elfs and whatnots! and eagles to the rescue! or...i hope it's to the rescue. either way.

so sorry i didn't review yesterday, but i couldn't get at the puter. dumb school. ::mutters:: i can't finish this tonight, sadly, but i promise i won't neglect it again. i be back soon.

great work!
DigiDayDreamer chapter 1 . 8/17/2003
Oh, the review! Ahem.

Well, it's quite interesting how Anna had a dream like that, involving the world of Klacialand and all. And her parents leaving for government wasn't just a coincidence, was it?

To be honest, this chapter was okay. Good in the description department, but it seemed quite cliche to me. The main characters having dreams and all, but despite all that, I still like it. Man, I wished I had robot maids too.

Hey, thanks for reading my first story, The Unwavering Desire. I hope you continue reading it.

Spell ya later!
Fans'R Us chapter 1 . 7/21/2003
I like this so far. It's really good. I noticed that's it's already pretty easy to tell where this story is going. First Anna has to find out what this dream means, maybe by having more. And then somehow she'll have to find the people with the Power. Maybe it's just me, but i'd rather not know everthing after reading a page.

Don't get me wrong, I do like it, and I do appreciate you reviewing my story, but maybe you could add some more into the beginning of the story. But maybe i'm just typing this in vain, because it's all in the second chapter, but you could make it a little less clear as to what Anna is going to do.
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 9 . 7/21/2003
Very nice ending to the chapter. Much better then mine. Not a cliffhanger. So many instructions. Yikes. don't stray from the path people. The creatures you made up were cool (can't place the names) especially the shadow creatures. And the first line of the story

Stremenville turned out to be a city on a hill.

Nothings wrong, but it rythmes if you notice. You might want to change it a bit, for the heck of it. I don't know why, but it slightly bugs me . Well nevermind.

Sorry for the late review

Belle
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 8 . 6/30/2003
"I don't walk, you know, i skip!" I love that line. Hehe. this chapter was very well done and i see you worked hard on it. Mind-reading eh? Fun fun. just like to point out a few mistakes now.

?There are no other dragon anywhere in the Land of Veetilazoo."

Err. . . how about "There are no other dragons anywhere in the Land of Veetilazoo."

Dragon should be plural. Interesting name {Veetilazoo} bytheway.

also

Lightings continued to thunder over the magnetic fields.

err just Lightning because lightning is singular and plural at the same time see? Like Fish is.

And i connect with anna on the part that she does not exell in mechanical logic. Oh well.

Great chapter and thanks SO MUCH for your reviews.

-Belle the Shadow-Cat

:Even the brightest Light leaves a Shadow:
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 7 . 6/11/2003
I loved this chapter. I Kinda do miss Bloor's accent. But i know accents are hard to right. *shivers* i had to edit the cerberus's accent MANY times before i got it down.

-Belle
lostinscotland chapter 2 . 6/10/2003
whoo! fun! i will read more when my eyes get a bit more focused...staring at a computer screen can get difficult while wearing contacts...eh

keep writing!
lostinscotland chapter 1 . 6/10/2003
oh, intriguing.

one thing...you tend to change tenses a lot. don't do that, its confusing. k?

next chapter!
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 6 . 6/4/2003
Glares at Leapy quick*

He just insulted the wildcat. GO BLOOR ha! You should have them run into a wildcat and prove them wrong *insult evil laugh here*

good chapter *glares at Leapyquick*

Oh well

Belle
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 5 . 6/1/2003
Leapyquick, leapyquick, leapyquick . . .hmm try saying that 5 times in a row, quite a tongue twister!

Nice chapter, though a little short. I hope you keep writing.
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 4 . 5/29/2003
Hey nice chapter love the Now too business' you know longness on the oo's makes the characters believable.
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 3 . 5/27/2003
hmm. . . quite narnia like in this chapter. Setira is like the snow-witch (can't recall her name) and Anne is like Lucy.

And oddly enough the Eagle reminds me of Gwairhir in lord of the rings. _ so i'm obsessed with LOTR. Anyways. Great chapter, update soon. Thanks for the review

p.s I went back to editing the first chapter. I plan to go over them all soon. Thanks for the review!

-Belle
Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 2 . 5/25/2003
Well it looks like Anna isn't in Kanses anymore! Sorry couldn't resist. Your story is very good and i can see Simalararities to Narnia. I liked the squirrel by the way.

I have only one complete in chapter 2 take a look at the fomatting, it's all bunched together. You need to seperate it into paragraphs by double spacing in between new paragraphs. Understand? that way it won't be so difficult to read.

-Belle
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