OMG diet nazis are so annoying! they think they can boss us around and do whatever they like and the ones at our school put up the stupid health policy which made the school lunches even worse...anyway, great essay! ;)

Giggling all the way through.

This is so funny... but the sad part is, it may actually come true one day. . I have another hiding thing for the M&Ms: put them in a trail mix and say they're sugar-free, low-sodium, low-fat candy-coated peanuts.

i think it is ridiculous how everything is suddenly bad for you nowadays. And about the food, it's not the Oreos fault that kids are fat, it's their own and their parents for not forcing them to get fresh air and excercize. But anyway, this was really hilarious and served a valid point..

Also, i had another idea for hiding the York Peppermint Patties(my fav., btw)...stick two of them together with the syrup and pass them off as hockey pucks

That was hallarious. I loved it. But if they ever do ban chocolate, I'm taking an uzi and killing 'em all. Save the chocolate lovers. Then we can rule the world! mwahahahahahaha!

I was greatly amused.

It's ridiculous how everything is bad for you nowadays and for some reason we, as a country, need someone to remind us everyday as such... All I have to say, as someone who has a %90 of getting breast AND ovarian cancer from both sides of my family, fatty foods, smoking, and/or I dunno-xeroxing your face a hundred times aren't bad for you. GENETICS are!

okay this is the last time im reviewing anything cuz i know your probably sick of me by now. all i have to say is, god help us if things ever get that bad. but it would be pretty funny.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i was laughing so hard i was crying! but umm...did you know low fat dressing actually reduces the nurtitional value of salads. thats why i always say...pour on the dressing! no low fat garbage either! i have a way to hide chocholate. if you have a dog melt it down and shape it...never mind. thats sick.

That was hilarious. I plan to actually use some of your suggestions. That was really good. And not bad arguments either.

The thought of chocolate restriction scares me. What is this world coming to? And Oreos! This is sad. A kid can't eat without having to think what kind of cancer they might get! Damn those Diet Nazis and thank you for your food-related rant!

It's ridiculous how fanatical morons like the ones you mentioned start a crusade to supposedly "protect the children from the dangers of fatty foods." First of all, kids don't merely get fat from inhaling cheeseburgers and Oreos, they don't go outside and exercise. Banning a product will just encourage kids to want more of it. If it's forbidden, then people will want it more.

Love the satirish voice. Keep on ranting, is what I say.

PS: Living causes cancer.

oh how i love rants. this is awesome. very mature use of satire! umm, wow, is about all i can say right now. and i'll be waiting for your other rants :) i love the voice and the power you use in here .. very Jonathan Swiftish.