|Reviews for Shores of Eternity|
| Bien Canonizado chapter 1 . 10/20/2009
Another cool story!
| A Secret Someone chapter 12 . 12/18/2008
Is that the Alice I think it is? Ha ha.
| A Certain Someone chapter 1 . 12/18/2008
Is that the Alice I think it is? Ha ha.
| Sagewood chapter 12 . 6/24/2008
I know a guy named Solon Snider. o_0 Freaky. Was that a coincidence or do you know him too? 'Cause Solon's a really uncommon name.
Your story's good. :)
| Alice chapter 12 . 5/24/2008
I know a guy named Solon Snider... did you know him too? or did you just come up with that name... cause it's not a very common name, but if you just came up with it, that would be a bit freaky...
| Arej chapter 6 . 8/16/2005
As I go...
"All of that was spend..." Spend should be spent.
"...let into its native habitant." Habitant is habitat.
"...when the talked..." Should be they.
Otherwise, this rocked. Almost better than music, which is the best thing in the world on my personal list, so that means major points to you.
Oh, and by the way, I'm addicted to this story. Technically I'm supposed to be doing my prgramming homeowrk, but I have a computer with internet connection sitting in front of me and chapters waiting.
Yay! (The Builder and the Architect are spiff characters.) Anyway, I hope I'm not offending you with my mechanical corrections. I can't help it.
If you want, look up some of what I've written and returnt he favor. Be really annoying if you want...I'm used to it.
| Arej chapter 5 . 8/13/2005
Okay, well. As I go.
Okay, wait. "This fellow was using one..." It sorta sounds as if he's already fired the Skorpions, which to my knowledge he hasn't. It doesn't quite fit. Perhaps "...held one..." would fit better.
...Wait. You said he took off his glasses, and then you say that through his glasses his eyes were golden. How is this possible?
"...both weapons other my face..." don't you mean over his face?
"...grown...accustom...to..." accustom should be accustomed.
"...incase..." there should be a space there.
"...knees and prayer..." should be knees and pray.
"...initially greeting with..." greeting is greeted.
"...divided buy that..." buy should be by.
"...there was no workers..." was should be were.
"There was two..." was should be were.
Otherwise, (and even including all of this) I loved it. The story (and this may sound a bit New-Age ish) flows and moves the heart/soul. (Technicially, they're two separate things, but I'll overlook that just now.)
This is good, very good, and makes sense. So many "world-changing" or "Political" stories (and I hesitate to call such things stories) make no sense. This makes sense. It's understandable. And it makes the reader feel that maybe, if someone took the time and the thought, this could actually happen.
Wishful thinking, I know.
| Arej chapter 4 . 8/13/2005
OKay. Well, since I accidentally just deleted everything I wrote, I'll go for the overall basics.
Well, to be honest, I think this is a brilliant idea. Screwing with worlds? Too spiff. Especially since the way Joshua is going about it actually makes sense.
Of course, the fact that he's doing this at all could be a real source of unhappiness for a lot of people, but...not me, I think it's fun. What better way to beat boredom than to mess with entire worlds? Perfect sense.
| Arej chapter 3 . 8/13/2005
As I go:
"...key figures later one." One is on.
Otherwise...nothing. (Sorry. I'm a very mechanical sort of person except when I write.) This is great. I can't wait to continue on with it.
One thing, though. I noticed that you use a lot of one-sentence paragraphs. Now, I completely support the whole idea, but perhaps, in a few places, it got to be a bit much.
But only a bit.
Anyway. This is good, and I'll be sure to continue following it. Many blessings.
| Arej chapter 2 . 8/7/2005
Well. I'd better warn you that I have a tendency to review as I go. I just read "My Corner of Oblivion" and reviewed it, but my piece of crap computer deleted it before I could submit it. So I'll try again.
'The other looked like it was meant to be sit on'. Sit should be sat.
'It also serves as a 'safety net' at something...' ...? What do you mean by ''safety net' at something'? This makes NO SENSE.
'There was more flashing lights than...' Was should be were.
'You'd need some why to assemble them.' I believe you meant some way to assemble them, not some why.
'The words 'birth' popped...' Words should be word.
'...temporary, so you show get a view...' Show should be should.
Other than that, it was great. (It was great anyway.) I did notice, however, you have a confusing way of jumping around with your tenses. And, just a note, when Joshua is talking to the voice, you may want to make his words/thoughts italic. It'd clear up a fuzzy area.
(Sorry to be so technical. If I've offended you, my deepest apologies for seeming heartless and cruel. But I do what must be done.)
Now. If I may impose... Your name was brought up during a conversation about stories, and I was told that you might be able to help me with the weapons aspect of some of my works. If you can help me, please let me know. I'd need your help (If you'll give it) on my near-future and my far-future fictions, as well as some of my fantasy works.
In any case, Be Blessed.
| Arej chapter 1 . 8/7/2005
*sorry to be so vague there* Well, I must first mention that I ususally have a hard time being interested in first-person. (As a writer, I find it incredibly confining for creativity.) However, there are a few exceptions, and this has made it to the list.
I have but one question- in the beginning, when 'Joshua' was describing the Nexus, he said the Nexus 'had' portals. Does this mean the Nexus no longer exists? (That's what the wording makes it sound like.) If not, well, you may want to fix that.
Other than that, my congratulations on beginning a story so well. I'll be sure to keep on this one.
| Cam S chapter 9 . 1/16/2004
A pretty good bunch of chapters, and interesting weapon designs. However, I think I'm going to like the chapters following this one a bit more, for some reason.
Keep it up, Jave.
| Cam S chapter 6 . 1/9/2004
A worthy addition to the little continuum you're building with your stories. I've not quite finished it yet (chapter 6...read up to the middle of the next chapter before the Abomination Machine got me)...
I like this one-the main character's god-complex seems familiar. Maybe it's one I've got, or one I've seen someone else have.
Anyway, I would say "keep writing", but you're done with this...ah, well, no one's keeping track, right? Keep writing.
| Cleansing Flame chapter 16 . 7/26/2003
Geez... These characters are great? Just out of curiousity, where do you think of them?
| Kell Hound chapter 15 . 7/23/2003
great job keep writing