Reviews for Society's Fault, Its pride, Its whore
JoyfullyStruggling chapter 1 . 10/10/2003
Woah, that was very opinionated, but sadly true in many ways. Though it would be unfair to say that all people in America are like that. I'm starting to try and do things now since Im a little older, but sometimes all one can do is speak, not act, and its true that it's not enough. There's the doers and the ones that sit back and holler. I think writing this poem was a great way of letting your anger out. I do that to and I have written poems about what I think of the world also. Great, great work.
harry k stammer chapter 1 . 10/9/2003
Kay, this reads like Ginsberg - long breath lines. it's the big picture of angst - i like it.

thanks for the read, think big picture then use a microscope to view it, if a metaphor/simile is needed.

wordpainter241 chapter 1 . 9/30/2003

When I get my small island independent of the rest of society, this is my national anthem.
wingless chapter 1 . 6/30/2003
first of all i would like to say wow. this is quite an accomplishment.

there is a lot of anger in this piece, but i must say none of it is ill directed. most everything you said in this is true. i live in canada and it's frustrating having our government bowing down to the american government. we're america's little brother and do everything we can to suck up.

you covered a lot of turf one might say. dealing with things such as capitalism to priests raping boys. it's very interesting. this could be a rant, it could be a propoganda flyer given out on the street, it could even be a song. it's very interesting. it does make me think.

the allegories using bastard, pimp, and prostitute are very effective... interesting comparisons

anyways i don't know what could make this better. i just want to say i am very impressed and you seem like an extremely intelligent person.

keep expressing you opinions...

thanks for your reviews by the way.
fugiguru chapter 1 . 6/22/2003
that was very raw and emotional, and it definitely touched a nerve. but the only thing i didn't like were the generalizations you make. most definitely not cool. but i agree with what you say, and i liked the way it seemed as if it had just come out of your head.
Kay Harlow chapter 1 . 6/14/2003
For most of us who are young, we don't have the resources available to us to help others because we are minors. I also hate the fact that I can't really do much to help others because I'm young and still a minor. I guess a way of helping and reaching out, is by making people aware. I got tired of hearing some of my friends whine and complain and at the time there were food drives and clothing drives asking for help and they continued to whine and complain and they still didn't even bother to help. That's what drove me to write this poem. Even though we have very limited resources available to us to help others, we can do little things such as help out others in every oppurtunity offered and by spreading awareness about what's going on in the world. By spreading the awareness and by just doing little things like that, you can inspire someone to do more. As cheesy as this whole explanation sounds, every little step goes a long way. I wrote this poem to spread awareness to let people know what really is going on. America is not an evil country, it justs has its faults like everything else does and in maybe realizing those faults we can learn from them and we can do something about it. I'm sorry if this whole explanation sounds cheesy like its coming from an activist but this is my explanation of this poem and how I see it and wrote it. I hope this helps.
Hele chapter 1 . 6/14/2003
What option do we have? I'm not american, but english, and what can I do to help? I'm fourteen. And I know that I'm informed about others' suffering. I watched a video, yes, the television again, but it is a medium by which knowledge cacn be conveyed, about female infanticide, and it haunted me, but I can't do shit to stop it, and so what good can come of me tearing myself up about it. I try not to assist those who exploit others, but it's impossible not to. If I don't eat one kind of food, then I have to eat another. I want to help, but I can't. I know that exploitation and inequality wouldn't be possible without those at the top end of the social scale, like me, but I don't agree with it. If it's any comfort, I believe in socialism/communism, the pure kind, before it got corrupted by Stalin and Mao. I pride myself on being informed, and it depresses me more every day. But I do plan to help people, those that I can, and I know that the job I'm going to take pays next to nothing, but I don't care. All that I've got from my well off family is a bus load of guilt.

Yes, most of us are hypocrites, the politicians, the rebels, myself, but I try not to be. But I'm powerless. I'm fourteen. I can't change a goddamn thing.

It was good, and very angry. Some of it didn't make a lot of sense, but you conveyed the gist of it very well.
theoryoferin chapter 1 . 5/27/2003 that's about all I can say to that. Excellent work. Interesting to say very little, lol.

In reply to your review: I have some of my poetry posted on here. If you look at my list it's all under "Jamie's Poetry Collection" thanks for the review though! _