Reviews for Without |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() Hmm.. I'm an oddball too then. Doing the right thing and sacrificing a letter grade wouldn't be my thing, but writing in a notebook (or computer) late at night and analyzing my whole life is something that I'm quite good at, or atleast well practiced in. Cold's a good band... I'm thinking about checking out their new cd myself as two of my friends have it. Anyway, back on topic. Well, it seems intriging, and I am going to continue on. Doesn't being a teen just make for wonderful stories to write about? -Frodo |
![]() ![]() ![]() This sounds like an interesting story. Jaysen sounds like a cool character. Sorry for this lame review, but it will hopefully get better as I read on. -Frodo |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, I feel so bad for Ash and Jay! -'' Very interesting situation... I hope they can work things out somehow... Thank you for the review, by the way; I haven't gotten many, so that made my day. Looking forward to the next chapter! (Now that I'm caught up I have to wait for updates... darn! -~) |
![]() ![]() ![]() m good so far... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey. I like this. Uh, I'm really bad at reviews. So...keep it up, I suppose. You're a good writer. Read my stories if you feel like it. I have trouble getting reviews (maybe cuz they suck) |
![]() ![]() ![]() What kind of person writes in a notebook at 10:30 at night without a light on? *raises hand* Me! The description is good, nice and detailed, though maybe just a bit too much in some areas. Don't get me wrong, I like it, just saying. One thing I will point out, constructively: When you use dialogue, you have 'so and so said' or 'so and so asked' after almost all of it. Try mixing it up more with dialogue that isn't followed up by any of these... don't know what you want to call them... end tags or whatever. For example, "I don't know," she answered wistfully. "Alright. I was just wondering." Fred ruffled Sue's hair one last time and headed to his next class. I just wanted to point that out, cause I know I used to do it a lot too, until someone showed me. If you try mixing your dialogue up like that, it can make your writing even more interesting. - |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thought I'd take a break and read something besides fantasy... This is very good! Definately gonna keep reading. - |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very happy! Cliff hangersevil! Heh, no Jenna. Darn, you were leading it on like it was something else...hmph |
![]() ![]() ![]() haha! YAY! no cliffee! yay. hehe. "Well just yesterday I was the one that was all down, and you were the one that made me feel better. Just one day later, we've totally flip-flopped roles. Funny how that is, ya know?" ironic, I'd say. haha. *smirks* well, sorry about "Jenna", and Ashlei was right. Oh guess what song I'm listening to? "Sorry so sorry" by that Howie Day dude. ahah. Addictingness. |
![]() ![]() ![]() HEY! You are making these cliffies a custom. That's not healthy for the reaser's sanity. You ARE aware of that, right? Jenna, eh? hmm. This shall be interesting. Ah, nice Dry Cell mentioning. *smiles* You really have corrupted me. *snort snort* |
![]() ![]() ![]() What about Jenna? Gah. Flaburgasted...that's a funny word 0.o You must UPDATE! |
![]() ![]() ![]() ok, i was reading the last chapter and once i read, It was a yellow Toyota Celica i screamed. CELICA! (i am totaly obsessed with carz sorry.) 5 seconds later i screamed, EMINEM cuz i love him too. Damn this is my kinda story, Celica's are like Eclipses which will be my car eventually...hopefully. BACK TO THE STORY: For a guy, you write teenage romance well. Right now i am writeing a romange in a guys point of view which is damn hard for me sence im a girl...you capture the moment well! (especally with Toyota Celicas...) |
![]() ![]() ![]() aw. so wonderful. that was a fun chpater. I felt like I was in 6 flags with you guys. haha, i wish. I am so mad. the youth group was gonna go to 6 flags, but not enough people wanted to go, so it got canceled, and i was really exicited. Did you go to the one in Pennsylvania? anyway, dude, you're running out of storis to review on my thing, haaha. oh, and you're right, Emeinem is the only good rapper. hehe. Ashlei is lucky to have a friend like Jaysen *wink wink* hehe. who is Ashlei? obiovusly not Becky. hehe. well, nice chapter. I'm actually going golfing now (haha..funny huh!) so, I can't read the 3 new chpaters of BOD yet, but I will soon, don't you worry! |
![]() ![]() ![]() aww. He's sweet. What a good friend! WOW! I read this whole thing! AHH! scury. I can hardly ever read a whole story! Feel loved that I read the whole thing! haha. Update soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Oh bloody well, you should try it, you wouldn't sound so bitchy all the time." ,- funny line! Ahh, when I raed stuff like this I try to evaluate EVERYTHING! haha, I feel like a scientist! |