Hmm - very nice writing style! I'm a bit offended nobody else has reviewed this!

Perhaps this is more fantasy than sci-fi: I don't know, but the talk of Elders and staffs is more befitting to the other genre. That's the annoying thing about fantasy and sci-fi: the border is somewhat blurred at times.

This shows great promise - perhaps you should continue it (oh, of course it was written in 2000, but it still looks great). Just maybe move it to fantasy - but it's dramatic enough for most to enjoy, so good luck with it if you decide to continue. I see much potential.