Brief but to the point. Suicide is gay im not tottaly likeing the theme. and its not on the right format lol but its all good. Yet againa topic lots of people especially people our age can relate too.

I assume you did this format on purpose and I think it works well. I like it well except for the end. Maybe you could try something stronger? Something that leaves you with an "Oh!" or "Ah!" feeling?

The last line somehow seems the weakest one when it should be the strongest.

I really like the line "To saturate my mouth" :)

it's very much like a song. i liked reading it. the repetitions were soothing. however, it seems like you pressed the wrong format button. _

blinkie