Very good. It makes a point, and it's a good point.

Sounds like rap in my ears. I enjoyed reading it. Your rhyming was exelent although it was al of the same ee sound. It kind of shows your creativity to use different words with the same sound. And to top it all off, you say it was freestyle which is amazing. keep at it. :)

cool, i like it

this isn't my style, really, so I can't comment properly, but the ending especially struck me - it's amazing how you manage to rhyme and still use the exact words that will express things properly - a true artist's feat.

That was very deep. It was emotional ,too. Your adjectives were deep, but good. Keep on writing!

Nicole

You're very good at rhyming. This poem is excellent.

Good JOB!MORE MORE!

See this is what i like in a lyric. beautifuly RAW and wirtten to be heard.*if any one has a word that rhymes with Life and strife please hit me up.

~Nat The Unchanging Darkness,Keeper of Light~

This poem has a lot of feeling behind it. I particularly like the line, "while I was bleeding cuz you were to kind to me," Speaks a lot to me. Best Wishes!

u might think i'm weird, i am... but i also have a feeling that ur black. if not white and u live in the ghetto somewhere in florida or chicago. i may be wrong. still, drugs r good. m i making any sense. no i'm not. by the way, i'm a girl. like u care.

Cool poem. Strong words, point gotten across. *laughs* I don't know about this, but it kind of sounds like a rap to me. Anyway, nice.

Thanks for reviewing my poem.

recalcitrant, you were right. I do relate to your writings.

This is an awesome piece. Keep writing!

~Damaged

Every word sounds like you mean it. Your anger comes across really well in this; I think it's because of the words you've chosen. They sound hard and vicious. Good work.

Keri