Oh, it is [talking about suspiciousness]. I'm wondering when this downfall is going to come. Things are just going TOO good for him, I think. And why is his mother so worried? He says "so" a lot, heh. Can't wait for the next chapter.

-x- Jenna

just wanna say when your a rich and famuse (can't spell but you know what I mean) remember us little poeplelol

Amazing. Completely, utterly amazing. I cannot think of a better way to describe your writing. I love all of your stories, and I went into this one expecting nothing but a good read; however, I am a bit shocked about how into I am getting. The thing I love most about this story is the depth that you put into Malcolm. You make him more than a character in a story, and transform him into a real person. I love the small details you put in, like him imagining people naked or watching himself in a mirror. I often find myself doing both those things, so I think it's pretty cool that Malcolm does too. I look forward to reading more!

The Tarot thing is a nice touch. I was one of the many Eyeless fans, and this story is even better. I was hooked on the first sentence, and your grammar is really improving. (not that it was terrible before, but everyone has something they've gotta work on) g2g, keep up the awesome work! ~_

I can't wait to find out more. You can tell though that Rick isn't the type to settle down to become a husband and a father. What could Rachel expect? Its like teenage pregnancies in a way. Malcolm's parents seem so overprotective sometimes...and its like Malcolm tried to get freedom cuz he feels trapt w/ the usual surroundings...that's how I see it.

hey you, great chapter, i mean, it sounds like nothings going wrong in Malcolms life. cant wait until he goes over Octavia's house, and the Formal sounds really cool. keep it up, this is a great fic

nik

thanx for replieing to all of our reviews! and trust me i know that your not out to get the most reviews, because your stories do great either way. but the more reviews you get, the more people read your work-which is never a bad thing. but i still do think that your story is going alittle slow. in your summary it's sopposed to be about a boy that has no money and sells his body. but in the last three very long chapters you have only breifly mentioned it once. its not that i hate the idea of long chapters, because long chapters are the things that make us readers all giddy, but long chapters should have more in them besides character devolupment. but other than the fact that its slow movieing, this story is terrific! it has a great plot and great character devulpment. just bring up the speed :) and of course im going to continue reading this story! i read mostly all of your work because i think your a fantastic writer("hint hint" please update grant me the serenity! i love that one) so keep on updateing and ill keep on reading!

great chapter _ That was funny with the police officer, there really was no point in the number thing. Yeah, everything's going uphill, which means there's only one way it'll eventually go; downhill.

~Arayuldawen~

Nice work on chapter three.

I really like your character Malcolm. He seems to be a real sweety of a guy. _ Also, more importantly he seems to be very realistic. Anyway, I'm interested to know when he's actually going to start selling his body to (I'm guessing AAron will be his employer...) others. He seems like such a nice, laid back kinda guy...and he's going to go and sell his body? *Tears up* OOh, so sad and depressing the way these fates come about...

Jess

I like Malcolm; he seems cool so far. This story is still enjoyable. I can't wait to read more. Keep it up! Update soon! _

I like this story a lot. I can't wait until you update it. I just have a few things to say: please, please, please, don't let the clients be guys. I'm begging. And for some odd reason I just think Octavia is kind of untrust worthy. And oh yeah,. . .please don't let the clients be guys. Anyway, I can never find anything wrong with your stories to critique, so just keep writing.

Er it seems that my zeros disappeared. So just to clarify I meant Seven Thousand words, Three Thousand words and Five Thousand words.

Brilliant start to the story. Keep it up!

Abi x x

I agree with Giddies on the long chapters and slow moving story. Your chapters are like 70 words long where as most other writers tend to post 30 to 50 word long chapters. I guess people tend to be turned off by the length of the chapters. But I don't really mind I mean reading is good for you. And the story is getting kind of dry if you don't mind me saying. Seems to lack a certain flow to it, making it slow going. You seem to write on the border of the story but not going in depth. But on the whole this is a well written story if slow. One worth reading and reviewing. I'm sure if you give a more "OOmph" to it, it's gonna be a hit.

i really like this story so far. but i think the reason people aren't readin it is because the chapters are really long (which isn't a bad thing) but not much is told in them. the story is going extremly slow. its really vital that you make the first few chapters interesting so the reader gets hooked and wants more. i hope that you update this story soon because i would definetly read it.