Reviews for Obsidian Skies Roughdraft
MAmbler chapter 2 . 3/3/2005
Wonderul. I like the description at the front followed by explanation. The only thing I would change is to take out the "Demon language." It serves no real purpose.
HippieHebe chapter 16 . 4/11/2004
Hey, i forgot to mention that i loved the prologue it was very descriptive. I also love the chapter despite it being short. Like i said the whole profile thing was a great idea. I cannot remember half of things i was going say while i was reading this damn! Well can't wait till your update for Gardian.
HippieHebe chapter 6 . 4/11/2004
I love this so far it's great! I love these profiles too, it really does help.
By the way I Use to be Tears At Night (I wrote Vengence) I just thought my old Pen name was Crap.
Lee Harvey Kennedy chapter 16 . 1/15/2004
Well, I must say, this was a good story, and a great prologue. I'm even more excited for Guardian now that I know the backstory behind it. Great job, this story was truly enjoyable.
Lee Harvey Kennedy chapter 8 . 1/15/2004
I must say, I really enjoyed this chapter. You have a gift for painting vivid imagery, I felt like I was right in the middle of the battle. It was described nicely, and I can't wait to see what you've got cooked up next.
One thing in particular that I enjoyed about this chapter was the humanism the demons possess. They all have wants, needs, likes, dislikes, relationships, it all helps them seem more real than the typical savage, snarling beasts they are usually portrayed as. I may even call it inspirational; the vast majority of supernatural writers on this sight could benefit from this unique portrayal you've crafted.
This story keeps getting better and better. It inspires me to be a better writer as well, and that is a mark few stories on this site have accomplished in my eyes. Great job.
Lee Harvey Kennedy chapter 5 . 1/14/2004
So far, this story is very good. I'm glad that you recommended it to me. Even at this stage, I feel that I know a bit more about Khellendros and Revellius in Guardian.
One little concern, a lot of words in this chapter were missing ending tenses, or even missing completely. One example is "his eyes almost perfectly match the blood that now glazed his face". The story is still quite readable and exciting, but certain things like that throw this grammar bitch off track.
Nevertheless, I'm quite enjoying this story. If it wasn't for pesky college commitments, I'd be reading it at a much faster pace. But maybe it's better this way, allowing me to savor this story like a fine wine. Good job so far, and I wish you the best of luck on Guardian.
Eluza Starsha chapter 7 . 10/5/2003
Well, you told me to read your story, so i did. I still am. Anyway, it's really col, and I love the way your characters are developed. The whole world is very well done. I'm going to read all your stories and harass you for updates! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Ja Ne!
happybutt chapter 1 . 10/1/2003
Thanx for the review, so let me repay you: beautiful description, though the land doesn't sound it you use of words paints a vivid portrait. I loved the part about the lightning and thunder being angry, it really enables the reader to picture what is happening, and I could almost hear the thunder crashing. Well on to the next chappie! _ yay!
XxintoXpiecesxX chapter 16 . 9/25/2003
A very good ending. I think it was the best decision (the one you made) to stop it there and then write a future story in 'book 2'.
XxintoXpiecesxX chapter 15 . 9/25/2003
Actually you described that Backflip into a back roll. I know this is from the last chapter but you might want to explain the raiden costume. The Krypt in Deadly Alliance is huge and unless you look it up I don't think everyone playing it would find that costume.
XxintoXpiecesxX chapter 14 . 9/25/2003
Go Khellendros! I do have a question about these children. You said that the kids where the equivalent of five and ten but they seem to be a little older in maturity. Don't full fledged demons mature very slowly? Just wondering. Keep writting.
XxintoXpiecesxX chapter 12 . 9/25/2003
That bastard!...sorry. Pooer Zephyr, the last thing she got to do before she died was get beaten. Then again thats a big hint that the ruler of hell is about to be de-throned.
XxintoXpiecesxX chapter 11 . 9/25/2003
There was something about this chapter that didn't give the usual clear picture for a persons minds eye that you usualy have. Mordekai...I know I've heard that name somewhere before...You still have the story going strong.
XxintoXpiecesxX chapter 10 . 9/25/2003
I like Cain, something about people who go over the edge alot is entertaining.

Well anyway I don't think that you need to be told this is a good story considering you have over two-hundred reviews, so I'll leave it at that.

I have to go right now but I'll read more if I have time later tonight.
XxintoXpiecesxX chapter 8 . 9/25/2003
They're getting something done! To bad Remecrion isn't there. He needs to die off now.
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