Reviews for Rainy Day Woes
DevilS MaY Cry chapter 3 . 12/15/2003
you should keep writing this story! it looks like its going to be a very very good story!
Burning Shaedows chapter 2 . 10/10/2003
ooh- I like. though, honestly, I wish my dreams were that nice- I like the second chapter- I didn't expect it, I figured this was going to be a one shot fic. But, it is a very good thing.

Compliments on specific details: I like how it wasn't the basic shock when Jessie saw him with common lines like "I think I know you", or the "Have we met before?" line- they are way too over used. Also, the note about Jessie's hands staying up after using quotes added a bit of a immersing touch.

Criticism: too much about the English paper and opinions- a bit too much foreshadowing (if that is what it is), and Alex is in a band and greatly agrees with Jessie's idea. Too much about the English paper because it takes off from the rest of the story. Question: If you actually did have an english paper, would you really be that concerned about asking people to read it and agree? (well... you might, but unless this character is based off you...)

Other than that, I still really enjoy reading this, and now I am expecting another chapter... maybe? Makes me think that it could possibly happen to people like me- never had such wonderful dreams and got to meet such wonderful people... (well, except for a few good friends, but none of them were "special"). But then, we always admire that which we can't have or that which others have talent at- (ex: you and your writing talents).

Well, now that I have blabbered on and on and wasted your time I will stop, and finally go away. But for a for warning- I will be back (I mean really, how could I leave?) always,

Shaedows
ImtheONE chapter 2 . 10/10/2003
Great story but im sorry to sat I com with no on writing!
Burning Shaedows chapter 1 . 7/8/2003
Pretty. I really liked the words that you used to explain “him” with. Not just blue, azure blue– it made the story more sensual. I always liked the way you wrote– and now I am very glad I read this like you told me too. It really is written well. Though I understood it all I think you could have put just a little more detail in about the pool and the water– some comment that pertains more to the water than the people, yet still relates. That is the only little bit on constructive criticism that I have– other then that my review is sort of pointless except to boost confidence- (if it is special enough to do that…). But you still don’t know his name… You made this story sound like it was real– very real… as if it was just a little more than a dream… I really enjoyed reading it. It wasn’t a happy story, but it wasn’t totally depressing story– angst is what I think I would use to describe it. But in the end… I still stick with my first term to describe it- ‘pretty’. Whenever you need a review– I will gladly put one in-

Shaedows
Tebor chapter 1 . 7/5/2003
Hm, an angst/Romance story eh? Alright, what does this mean from a guy's perspective? Actually, I don't count at all; I'm a hopeless romantic who breathes these kinds of things due to my lusting for a girl to one day write things like this about me...

Moving on to the actual story, for what's here is good. Nothing says romance better than rain. It's a little cliche, but it makes sense. And hurray for the pool element being thrown in for some slippery fun...he...hee..ugh...

Getting away from that, what is good? First, strong narration. Very strong main character who gives a feeling that the story is progressing somewhere. Also, the boy character. Though the boy represents everything I hate, I too am baffled by the mystery surronding him. Second, realism vs. fantasy. What's fantasy? The whole boy scenario walking someone home; yes, a nice boy can exist, but wouldn't Jessie have known that he rides the same bus as her? And that he was falling her? And what is this dude's deal? Oh well, these questions are the reason to read the story and for the story to continue. Realism, for every fantastical thing in here, there is some truly realistic detail that is mentioned to make up for a cliche. Like what, you say? The parents subplot and having them in here as a factor is forgotten in many stories of these types, but strongly mentioned here. But the main thing I'm impressed by is Jessie's observation that this guy's parents would wonder why he is extremely wet, dispite having an umbrella, and smelling like cholrine after the pool scene. The story brought up this fact before I ever thought of it, GREAT JOB! Just the kind of things I like.

My notes, or constructive critism, are minor little things. First:

*SPOILER*

Alright, so the thing's a dream. It's alright to start a long story like that, but if it's a stand alone rant, it doesn't work. The old dream thing is so overdone that it doesn't work for 99.9% of the stories that use it. And here, it wouldn't work (if it were a stand alone story, which, by the chapter heading, suggests it isn't). One additional gripe on the subject of dreams is that, this is a dream in the rain and the main character gets wet A LOT. What does this suggest? A wet dream? I certainly don't think so, but some of my other lit buddies would think that way.

*END OF SPOILER*

Then, I have a story question. Why take this escapade to the pool. I see the irony in getting wet, but wouldn't it be better to have the two sit and talk? Okay, I'm a fan of dialogue, I confess. But we could probably see some bonding between these two in a "sitting together chatting over some muffins (or cocoa)" sort of thing. But yes, knowing the outcome it might have been smart to not include such a scene, but I'm a fan of those, so should this charade continue there's an idea.

Um, the title...Um, yeah it states the beginning, but it doesn't involve the WHOLE chapter! Titles are hard, but I feel this chapter needed a stronger title to reenforce a theme or the overall experience.

As I've stated cliches: rain, perfect guy, lack of parental problem (being present), etc... have all ready been mentioned.

Wow, this is getting long. Um, forget anything I said you didn't like, I'm on Speech Team, I'm used to it. But honestly, I liked this for what it is.

All in all: GRADE: B. Stands alone good, but some problems are keeping it from being better.

Random Note: I hate those guys with this guy's hair. Or maybe I just don't like the hair and the people are really alright... I don't know, but that hair style bugs me. So blond...and comby...egh! Once again, just a male's perspective.
Wandering Angel-chan chapter 1 . 7/5/2003
Hey, very interesting...Descriptions are lovely. Poor Jessie...is she perhaps modeled off someone you know? Perhaps...you? Just a thought. Those rainy days can really get you down...Especially when there's no rain falling and your heart's drenched in sadness...

-Angel
Abby chapter 1 . 7/5/2003
Great! i love it!
Madi chapter 1 . 7/5/2003
Great start...No errors in it at all. Don't worry i think there was romance...srry if this is short at all... I can't think right now...well...I like it! So later!
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