Reviews for Inflareus's Revenge
Hostiledude chapter 2 . 2/11/2005
I've only managed to read two chapters so far, but I like it. I stayed interested the whole time. And usually I get bored and stop reading everything on this site after a few hundred words. I can't wait to see what happens when I get into the main part of the story.
penguinscribe chapter 1 . 12/27/2004
Sorry, but I could only make it through chapter one. maybe thats a mistake and I should force myself to read more before reviewing, but I can't help but say that I don't like your writing style. Sorry. To me it's too rushed and I don't like some of your wordings. To say that Molotov "chowed down" on the meal sounds...well, it doesn't fit with the story's feel, y'know? And it also kind of bugs me that everything is just so perfect. He needs onions, so o lookee there, there they are! And now he needs meat, o lookee at the goose, I'll just shoot it down effortlessly. (I KNOW he missed the first time, but yeah, its all to happy.) You also have a tendancy for run-on sentances. So forgive me if I've been a bit harsh, we all have our own tastes, I suppose.

You can read my stories if you want, though you may not want to now. toodles
Laerian chapter 13 . 11/30/2004
Very good chapter. The previous one made it seem like the story was about over, but this one introduces a new enemy who looks just as powerful, if not more, then Inflareus. For the improvements, just the usual grammar and punctuation mistakes. Thats about it. I wonder who these two new characters are at the end of the chapter? I can't wait til the next chapter to find out. Keep up the excellent work!
Loki Mischeif-Maker chapter 1 . 7/16/2004
Humorous start to a story, whether you meant to make it that way or not. Your discription is good, and you get a feel for the character.

One problem- you seem a bit lax on your commas. For instince, the last line of the prologue could really use a few. . . .

Other than that, however, this seems really good.
PS Thanks for the reiview
Cheers!
Little Lady Mab chapter 1 . 6/27/2004
Hm... there were a few things you could fix... that last paragraph was a little too long. There are also a few gramatical mistakes (they're instead of there and stuff like that)
Also, either say Molotov was a half-elf earlier, or say it in another chapter. Don't just say it once at the very end of the chapter
limpet666 chapter 12 . 6/7/2004
Aww no! He's dead! But I liked Ryene! He was cool!
Quite a twist, are you planning to write more? I hope so!
Akara chapter 12 . 6/4/2004
Yay, a new chapter! I like the plot twist, and keep it up! Don't forget about those people in his dream- curious readers are here.
ssj4goku177 chapter 1 . 5/30/2004
never in a million years would i even think about writing something like this... wow
its really hard for me to write long stories because it is difficult to keep track of all the characters, subplots, etc... but seemed to have that down...
cant wait to read the rest of this
Anime Queen chapter 12 . 5/16/2004
Heh, I knew that the story couldn't end this easily! Great chapter, I look forward to the continuation!
Laerian chapter 12 . 5/14/2004
Hey, this was a really good chapter! I like the new twist with Ryene but i dont think i understand it that much. How has Molotov's journey now just begun if all Ryene told him was that he and Inflareus are avaters? One more thing. This was a pretty big part of the story with the whole fight with Inflareus, but the fight wasn't very long. It seems as if it took Molotov nothing to kill him. I suggest making your big fight scenes like this a little longer to make then more memorable. Well, other than all that, this is going really good! I hope there's a new chapter up soon. Later man!
Laerian
untitled chapter 1 . 5/6/2004
Hey ive seen you around school and ive heard about ur story. Read the chapter 1. Its pretty good. Love the burned noodles. Its funny. Keep writing this is good.
Prince Tin Lizzy chapter 5 . 5/5/2004
Hm...someone likes anime, doesn't he? The only thing I can say here is that everything seems very rushed due to the lack of commas/sentence ties. The plot is nice, a very save the world-I have to do it-I'm on a big ol' adventure type story. Well, that's all I gotta say for now, please read and review my story if you'd like. :)
albalop chapter 11 . 4/16/2004
Great story... you have such an imagination.
Anime Queen chapter 11 . 4/16/2004
That was a good chapter. I liked all the magic and skills _ Keep it up!
nuahs chapter 1 . 4/16/2004
it was cool
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