Reviews for Beware The Eyes
Zachariah chapter 1 . 10/12/2004
Jay, i love it. Truely gnarly, bodacious, ect. inspiring. kinda disheartening too, cuz i can't write that good. If you're looking to edit, i'd try to veer from the direct movie comparison, but even with it it works. Well done.
Fallen Maverick chapter 1 . 9/22/2004
This is sort of a unique concept and gruesome to think about, especially the tentacle bit. However, tenses seem to conflict, as in:
"“C’mon, couldn’t you at least think about getting a dog?” Ten-year-old brother, Nathan asked Mom. So far, Nathan has asked Mom that question thirty-nine times ever since his best friend told him about his cocker spaniel."
This is in present tense, while this, and almost the entirety of the rest of the story...
"No no and NO!” Mom replied sharply. “And that ends that. . . .” trying to reflect on an example In her flavor she added, “beside you already have pets, you have an ant farm. Sounds like enough pets to me.”"
... is in past tense. Minor, but nice to look at. :)
sinner saint chapter 1 . 8/29/2004
Very nice indeed. I take it that's a one-shot? If not, inform me when you update please. This is very good.
~sinner saint
Thanks for the comment on mine. Much appreciated.
Enigma-Nemesis chapter 1 . 4/18/2004
Interesting... Soul Leapers... Seems like an interesting story! Some funny parts, especially when the mother jolts back into reality and wonders exactly just what she's doing driving around like a madwoman. Hope you update soon!