Heh heh . You are still progressing, and making a consorted effort to continue on that route. If nothing else the flame must love you for that ~. I liked this one...no idea why .;

Darn straight you did . Good job, lass! . You continue you fellow vampire enthusist, you! You're progress is steady and impressive and your dialouge much to my envy.

This was a bit better. Good to have a description of them. I do honestly enjoy your dialoge. I tried to use it more in my most recent chapter and it didn't go so well .;; You -are- progressing. No doubt.

I like this! It's your first original story, I believe? And a good first attempt. You leave a lot of holes to be filled, so hopefully this will last a few chapters, because I want to know more!

Much mysteriousness... I like mysteriousness. *Thinks of Crooked Angel*

Yes, and you aren't overly descriptive... but it's still a good story. *Holds up thesaurus*

And I liked that part you wrote about 'why should I describe her, she'll soon be gone'. It was fitting, and revealed something somehow about Drake's character. I don't know... it was just very cool. *shrugs*

Sorry, I'm kinda floaty... only got five hours of sleep. Tee-hee _ Anyway, keep at it, and keep improving! You have a great plot to contend with. I might post Crooked Angel sometime...

Bye now! *waves* Oh, this was long... _0

I note that your a newbie, so I'll try and be gentle with my critisisms? Um...being descriptive would do grand things for your work. The dialog beats some that I have read, but the visuals leave much to be desired. As I'm in the porcess of wrtting a vampire story myself and recently wrote chapter in the first person of someone who was blind I can take pity with not being able to be all that descriptive. Otherwise a good effort. Keep it up.

Very nice story...short and sweet (Oh, wait, I take the sweet part back.) Write more and you'll improve. Be more descriptive with your stories. It helps the reader really imagine the scene...