Reviews for Jaded
Agent Awesome chapter 4 . 6/29/2005
what happened to this story? you haven't updated in like a year! and it was so promising and so interesting too! is there any chance you'll take it up again? it would be greatly appreciated by many (including me!) :D
Senkai Ninja chapter 5 . 6/13/2005
Ooh, nice story. Started off dull, but really quickly sped up! Into the action" I would like to read more of the Egyptian antics!
Agent Awesome chapter 5 . 1/19/2005
okay where is my freakin' review? I NEED MY FREAKIN' REVIEW! lol just kidding but a review would be greatly appreciated *smiles sweetly*
Agent Awesome chapter 1 . 7/3/2004
This story is soo awesome! Please write more soon...very soon! I cannot wait until the next chapter!
kristinp chapter 5 . 6/25/2004
O. This is really really exciting! I can't wait for chapter six! I can really imagine your characters, you describe them all really well, and you make it sound realistic, which is always really good in fantasy-ish stories :)
Lyss chapter 5 . 6/5/2004
This is an awesome story! Very well written! It's really interesting, too! Please, please, please write more, and soon!
Lil Sis chapter 1 . 6/5/2004
I have to make this one quick because I want to read the next chapter!
The Rejection chapter 5 . 4/30/2004
It's good, for the most part. My only comment would be that they seem to figure out what was wrong with her too fast. It was immediately obvious she was possessed, so I don't think the word possessed was necessary. Also, you knew she was Egyptian from the flashback; the parents figuring it out seemed a little too fast.
But don't let that deter you! It was still good. I was only nitpicking to help you make it even better. Thank you for writing that! It was fun to read.
The Rejection chapter 1 . 4/30/2004
Oh, I'm going to nit-pick. Bah. I'm so mean.
The thought. "Or ever, she thought."
Italicize it. It's not necessary, but it helps.
'Twas short, but good! On hold, though. That's sad.
TheLostElf chapter 5 . 4/24/2004
Love your story, but it's a bit like the story Desperation by S. King. Anyway, you should research the egyption stuff a little more, not just mention Rah. Its a great story, and I hope you someday finish it.
lovergirl2003 chapter 5 . 10/1/2003
Hey,the face is back**.I haven't added any new chapters but anywayz just to let u know. Update ur story soon. Put in more detail
Starvinfemale chapter 5 . 8/28/2003
Heya. I think I reviewed before but anyways I wanted to review COS i REMOVED MAH STORY'The face' cos sumthins wrong. The chapters are not wait for some time
lovergirl2003 chapter 2 . 8/26/2003
Heya. Your idea's good. But there is a lack of details. AN dthe way Ben jumps to a coclusion that Jade's a demoness is wierd. I mean anyone would have thought that Jade had some psychological problem rather than some evil possessing her. Plus even though your use of language is good in many places, yet in other lines the the language is very light and is lacking in detail. The way it's narrated is also in a conversation type of way.

Anyways ur ideas are goo. Thanx 4 reviewing mah story anyway. I'll try to do something about my abrupt endings.

Thnx
somethingpoeticandmeaningful chapter 5 . 8/16/2003
Man, Jake is an a-hole:D Anyways, I loved it! VERY GOOD! I can't wait to read more!
somethingpoeticandmeaningful chapter 4 . 8/16/2003
This was good,because it gave you more of an idea of what was going on! I love it!
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