Reviews for Talon Dragonbane: Reign of Ordrygos
Alaurei chapter 1 . 8/2/2004
Wow! This is amazing. However, it is a prologue. I know you've been on here for a while, and I'm not sure when you wrote this, but, I can only hope for you to continue! It was a great starter.
May I suggest something? I tend to do this a lot to, just so I can get it out there for people, but, when I realize this, I don't want to do it. What I mean is, at the beginning, when you describe the area around you with so much detail, the reader leans about teh surroundings but, they may get bored. I didn't really find that in here but, I was just saying, ya know? I find it a lot in authors who just tend to do that. I do it! XD I try not to now but, it's hard.
Otherwise, I thought it was amazing! I know it's a prologue and I don't really know how much you wanted to let out. But, if I were you, I might have described the character a bit more. Or, at least eye and hair color. But, you may be planning on having that in the book and that's totally cool! I love the whole idea about a lantern also. So unique! I've never really read a story about a mysterious man with a medallion in his arm who has a lantern from the gods. Very neat. And his name is exquisite. Talon. It reminds me of the name of the main character from Dark Cloud, a video game if you may not know.
Well, all I can say is good job and I hope you continue this. I know you're busy with the site now and stuff, but, maybe in your spare time you could write this. And when last I checked, most of the chapters were gone on your SG story...what's up? Just curious. Thanks again and good luck and good job!
-Nickel City
aka. Nicki
"To infinity, and beyond!"
black-shadow-spider chapter 1 . 9/29/2003
Sorry, i prefer not to give away my e-mail address, anyway, i can be a girl, cool.

Just keep my personality the same and have my name be Samatha, and long brown hair. The rest keep the same.



P.S: The second chapter of your story that i just reviewed was great, can't wait to see the next chapter
Galea chapter 1 . 9/27/2003
Is this going to be a story?

If so, please format! :P

Haha the end is like, "Name's Bond...James Bond." Heehee.

Nice description...

Lantern of the Gods? O!

Ja ne!


If I get a stat upgrade, make it...Anger please! :)
Jeweled Knife chapter 1 . 9/26/2003
Interesting start, you got the details down well, which i like.

The only thing I'd advise you to do, is to watch your formatting. Don't jumble up everything into one big paragraph , because it gets really hard to read. Separate different thoughts and ideas.

Just watch the formatting, and all shall be well, because I want to know what's going to happen next, guy with a lost past is always an interesting subject for a fantasy story. It's got me hooked .~




Ps- if i even make it as a character for the other story, and get points, can you upgrade defense for Bay please?

And even though you'll probably be frequently updating the other story, don't forget about this one! I wanna know what happens...

Adios! (again)

Belle the Shadow-Cat chapter 1 . 9/25/2003
Hey, awsome start. Although the chapter could use a little formatting. He's good against Winged Fire eh? COOl! And the latern thing, awsome. I can tell from this that you write well and i can't wait to see LST (legend of Sandrias (sp) tome) tommorow or whenever.

Good luck.


P.s If i get a stat upgrade from this, upgrade defense
Fans'R Us chapter 1 . 9/9/2003
Wow! This is good. I like all the description, but as to exactly what happened to that dragon, I'm not really sure. Maybe if there were paragraphs it'd be more understandable. But I do like the idea of the lanturn leading him to his future when he has no past...

Post more soon! And read my fic if you have time...
Eliaseth chapter 1 . 7/18/2003
heyhey! i liked the story a lot but try and space it out a bit!good you dont communicat through reviews you communicate through e-mails! I havent recieved a review from you yet either(stamps foot impatiently) oh well... please update cuz i'd like to keep reading! Thanx

Eliaseth and Ecca
Sanderek chapter 1 . 7/17/2003
Do you know if its safe to put your ideas on this site because i am writing a real novel and im about 1/3(29,500 words) of the way through it, but i don't think ill put it on. This site should have a message board so that i don't have to talk to people through reviews.
Megx chapter 1 . 7/16/2003

Have you read my story?

Well, it takes place in Talon City for one...

It has dragons in it for two...

My main character has a medallion for three...


Woot, okay either something very weird is going on or we're psychic _!

Well, good story anyway, but the chapter is much too short and the block format makes it hard to read. Try double spacing after paragraphs.

And if you meant it to be one block paragraph break it up into many smaller paragraphs.