Reviews for There Was a Young Girl
Avory chapter 1 . 5/5/2004
Wow... I was already depressed. And that just made me more melancholy than before. Umm... thanks! I guess...
Morbid, twisted, I loved it! It was simple, I like simple. It also flowed really well. It felt like I was in a lazy river slowly making my way to THE ultimate end. The end that comes to slow to the morose until we take that final initiative. I also love it when writers twist the innocence of youth into something altogether lugubrious and despondent. It parallels the world in which we live. Where the youth is corrupted earlier and earlier. Who ever heard of middle-school mothers? Hell, when I was in middle-school, I don't think I knew what sex was or how exactly it was initiated. But these days, I hear all sorts of gossip from my middle-school sisters about how their classmates got pregnant. Absolutely disgusting!
Anyhow, I love how honest your poetry is. You don't sugarcoat it. (I HATE THAT!) And, you show how truly decadent this world is. Which is something some delusional individuals REALLY need to see.
SweetGrape chapter 1 . 9/18/2003
Great idea! Pretty impressive how you managed to basically fit it into the format of the original!

The way of showing how things lead into each other and how you keep getting a bigger picture is done very well.

'What a joke! She ahd some hope'- very harsh line- effective, though.

And then the end is inevitable and thought-provoking after all the maybes (even if someone who knows the original knows it's coming)
samothrace chapter 1 . 7/26/2003
I find that warping traditional classics is an entertainingly twisted way to be original, ironically enough. Nicely done. Inventive and insightful. And warped, but I think you already mentioned that... :)
S.C. Preclarus Noctis chapter 1 . 7/22/2003
Wo...nice...freeverse...I like it..
Frodo chapter 1 . 7/20/2003
This is really a new and interesting way of writing poetry. It really has wonderful qualities to it and made it more eerie, uh.. maybe not the best word. Wonderful work. Tragic.

Orange 6ix chapter 1 . 7/19/2003
This is really unique and I love it.

Thank You
rumor chapter 1 . 7/18/2003
Oh my gawd! I have found my new favorite poem/story, whatever that I loved it..Warped yes, but hey, aren't we all a little mad..? But anyway, great stuff..I'm off to read more! :-)
Heather Montgomery chapter 1 . 7/18/2003
I love this, babe. It's so creative and witty.. and.. brilliant! Just like you! Amazing job, yet again!