Wow! That's really good! The rythem is different; not so consistent, and definately one you don't see often, but in this poem, it fits perfectly and makes the poem flow wonderfully.
Signed,
Linwe
~Elf Princesses Always Get Their Way~

Love the last few lines. A lot. The images this calls into my mind are very cool. Good work, and keep goin!

This is amazing! The imagery is so imageful (I am fully aware of how stupid that had to sound)

I disagree with EveningShroud, though. The punctuation doesn't matter. The beat is obvious if you read it.

Good job!

winged one

wonderful poem. well written, nicely described. i like it. good job. thanks for your review also.

Where the heck is the puncuation? It was one huge long sentence that never finished because you never put a period. Punctuation is supposed to help the reader fing the beat of your poem and without, like I said, it's one long sentence with no pausing.

Other that that, it was... okay.

EveningShroud

please review this, thanks.