Lovely ending. I'm glad Evelyn or however you spell it was killed. Laura was so kind to her, and yet she thought of her as a bitch. I could understand her jealousy if she was in love with Dominic, but she obviously wasn't, as she continued to sleep with other men. What confused me the most, I think, was that she seemed to think he would just forgive her and ditch Laura when he went to give her her sentence. I also don't understand why she smiled at him right before she was hanged. I liked how you put how they died in the end. Most things I read don't include that, and it always leaves me wondering. Of course, they wouldn't have used the language you used way back in the 1200's. But if you had written it the way they would've spoken, no one would be able to understand it. As for typos and such, I didn't really notice anything except for a few mistakes that weren't common throughout the story. However, you do seem to have a problem with specifying ownership. For example, if you were to say something about Laura being Dominic's wife, you wouldn't say "Laura is Dominics wife", you would say, "Laura is Dominic's wife". Oh, and I did notice something else a few chapters ago. When you want to say something like "who is (insert question here)?", you say "who's". However, when you want to say "who" when referring to a possession of someone's, you say "whose". I tried my best to explain everything. Sorry if I didn't do a very good job. Overall, this is an excellent story, and I'll take a look at your other one, also. But it certainly was written a long time ago. You're probably not on here anymore, but if you are, I'd like you to know how much I enjoyed it. Please continue writing and posting your stories on here.

- Tatiana, the extremely critical story critic

Just another quick review: I'm happy that she wasn't raped. Good for her for fighting back. If that happened to me at this age, I'd probably complain that it was too small and to get it away from me or I'd cut it off. That's me, though. Haha.

- Tatiana, the extremely critical story critic

If she was indeed raped, I'll be so devestated. It's such a wonderful story so far and I'm enjoying it very much, but as someone who was nearly raped, I just can't read stories where the girl is raped. Putting your characters through something that horrific... That's just cruel, and I don't understand how any author could. I truly hope that you didn't.

- Tatiana, the extremely critical story critic

First chapter in and im hooked already! I've read so many of the historical style stories and its fantastic to see one that straight away shows some knowledge by the author!love it! :D

AMAZING! This story was just incredible! It made me cry at the end! I loved it :)

I think I've gotten about halfway through the story, but I clicked back to the first chapter to review. Your chapters seem a bit odd, like you have a list of three bullet points for each chapter of random events that you want to get to(i.e. bad guy attacks, Laura pregnant, sex), and your main concern is hitting those three, not developing your characters or anything else. The relationship between Laura and Dominic is not a healthy one, which would be fine if you weren't trying to present them as soul mates. I get the whole we argue but really we love each other idea, but regular fistfights, manhandling, terror, and slammed doors cross the line. I get that this is supposedly a different time, so this might be what Laura expects in a marriage, but as a reader I think they sound toxic. If Laura were my friend I would 1) think she was not in any way, shape, or form emotionally stable or mature enough to be married, and 2)that she should be kept far away from Dominic. This is a classic, toxic emotionally and physically abusive relationship where Dominic is going way over the line and then begging and pleading only to cross more lines in the future. Laura is growing more and more attached to him and losing her emotional independence, essentially replacing her father with Dominic and losing more self esteem and self assurance by the day. And she's not mature enough to deal with him in a calm and assured manner or to demand or earn his respect. If this is star-crossed romance, you can have it. It doesn't really matter what I think, and it's just a story. I just hope no one reading this gets any ideas about it being okay for anyone to treat them this way, because it is most definitely not okay.

ok that was a great story, well written and imaginative, it had a beautiful ending (which made me cry by the way) and i just loved it.

well done XD

The story is adorable, however, you add in completely pointless and misdirected details sometimes (i.e.: the bit about the wet nurse after Laura has the babies. What was that all about? Just completely pointless). Also, this chapter could have ended in about four places. We didn't need to find out how completely lost Dominic was without Laura; the reader already assumes this because of how wonderful they are together.

Anyway, like I said before, the story is cute and enjoyable to read. )

So sweet. I was in the mood for a mushy ending.

…ur a very good author, and I think u have a lot of potential…BUT…I’m goanna be honest with u….now, I am known to be a little harsh and have rather high standards, so don’t let my comment down you…it’s all for ur benefit….

….my first impression:

-u rushed trough the story…u have a good stile but at some points in the story u got a little lazy (there’s no point in denying it) and decided against a filler…try in revising that, so we gat a visual in the time flow

-sometimes ur characters don’t make sense…for example, in the beginning when he keeps asking if she’s changed…let him hate her, refuse to talk about her and run like hell when friends start teasing him…it would be more believable that way

-the end: the best part of the whole story is the epilogue….and that is just wrong….the epilogue should be something sweet to round the story, or a cliffhanger if u want a sequel…not the peek…u see, the only thing I can think about is how I cried in the end when he died…I suppose u wanted that end of “their story being told for generations” in there but u could have done it better….in my opinion that part should be in the very beginning like a little intro (almost like a fairytale)…but all together since that “years later, after the children…”, and u should cut the epilogue at the end of “…drove her to distraction was how much she loved this man.”

….does that make any sense to you…?...because I see a whole lot of letters that don’t belong….yea, I’m exhausted now…I bet a could think of something more…if I really tried….but I cant stop thinking about a wrinkled man and his tree children at his deathbed…..so, I guess u made an impression, although I would love a whole lot of those teary moments all trough the novel…

….reaven

nice idea*

just; you need to edit a little bit, yeah? lol.

the characters are too dramatic.

sorry. but...

lol. nice

This was the most beautiful chapter.

*cries* I loved your story! Once I started, I couldn't stop until I finished! I loved the plot of the story as well as the ending - it was so cute and heart-warming!

This is one of the best storys I've ever read.