Morbid, yes. But not a bad morbid...

I don't know what I'm talking about.

Hers was the heart 'neath the floorboards

That beat soundless rhythms in the dark

-reminds me of the telltale heart.

Oh, I liked that very much. It would make a delightful series of songs! I especially loved verse V, the whole thing about the piano. Anything musical always strikes a chord deep within me. ;)

As for my poem, Tetris Life, it was indeed meant to be metaphorical. I read it again a few weeks ago and only then realized how morbid and suicidal it sounded.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a review of your poem, and I will leave off saying I liked it very much and that you should keep writing!

Pretty good. The 'tween and 'neath's bothered me but i can't really explain why... "Hers was the heart 'neath the floorboards

That beat soundless rhythms in the dark" that REALLY reminded me of 'The TellTale Heart' is you've ever read it.

beautiful. eloquently written.