Reviews for Always Forever, Just Not For Now |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I want Laura back! She was way cooler. Pretty please? XD XLil |
![]() ![]() ![]() Love this so much ;) Another grammar error though (only ever mixing up the pronouns!): you say: Turkish Cowboys and I. it's the accusative case, and therefore 'me'. XLil |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like this very much. and since I didn't know the first version of this story, I am just enjoying it as I go along. The set up of the two characters is very intersting. You had one little grammitical error I *had* to correct: *Aubrey and I's faces peaked out of a lot of those photographs* is what you wrote, where the pronoun is 'my'. XD xxLil |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ah! Have her get back together with Laura! -midnightwrighter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi! I noticed a mistake and thought that I would point it out to you. I could she almost said it back, not out of affection but reaction. Instead she stopped herself. "Thank you." The: I could she part doesn't make sense. Love the story still. Also if you're still looking for a beta reader just PM me. Also I was wondering how often you update. That's it. Update soon! -midnightwrighter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi I noticed a mistake and I just thought that I would point it out to you. "You know like the lousy parts of me." Should be: "You know you like the lousy parts of me." I think That's it love it update soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi! I noticed a mistake and thought that I would point it out to you. "Maybe you're the one who doesn't change, Hoss." He shook his head, bitter and disgusted. "I still don't like you and I still don't your kind should be teaching and that's less about your… your lifestyle and more about how you're still as insolent and arrogant as you were as a teenager." I think that there should be a think between kind and should. "Faye made it worth my while," she said. "And the show I was going to do fell through and I didn't want to go scrounge something up and I knew I'd bored with a long break." I think be is supposed to be in between I'd and bored. That's it love the story keep updating! -midnightwrighter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi I noticed a mistake and just thought that I would point it out to you: Cora was too hold to be taken by the petting zoo for very long but we all walked the corn maze together I think hold should be a different word. Love the chapter especially the end. -midnightwrighter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Also noticed a mistake from the last chapter that I forgot to mention: Splendid," Doc said, gathering things. "Good luck." I think that it's supposed to be : Splendid," Doc said, gathering her things. "Good luck." New chapter start's here! "Well," I said, diplomatically. "I'd like to have gotten to know you better then." I don't think that you need then at the end of the sentence. That's it! Love the story update soon! -midnightwrighter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hello! I noticed a mistake: "Probably not," Doc said honestly. "I don't really talk about all that very often. It's really very uninteresting to those were there. It involved several students and some angry parents. That's all." I think that it should be : I don't really talk about it all that very often. It's really very uninteresting to those that were there. It involved several students and some angry parents. That's all. I like the story still and keep updating :) -midnightwrighter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi! I noticed a couple of small mistakes and I just thought that I would point them out to you..: I think that's how they'd describe the theater in which I was standing in my biography, one which evoked more emotion and passion from me than I'd been in the years since. There needs to be a comma or something between standing and in it seems like a run on sentence almost. I honestly don't know how everyone got by. I survived my years here by hiding out among a very good, very close of friends. I think that the word group should be in between close and of. I think that's it. I really like the story and even though I'm only on the first chapter update soon! Also if you would prefer me to not point out these mistakes just let me know! That's it. -midnightwrighter :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I started reading at Chapter One (Or two with the Author's Note :) ) Yesterday and now I'm at 15. I can't wait for the rest! I'm really loving this story. I'm usually not a fan of routine POV switches but it really works for you. Anyway, Very nice. I love everything about this, the only thing I would recommend is finding a Beta or doing a couple Proof reads for missing words. |
![]() ![]() ![]() You have true talent! I like how you write in German alot-although it's pretty clear it's not your native tongue. Try checking some of translations better. This story is really, really great. It's a bit intense and complex, but I like it a lot. You have great style, and you know how to keep it interesting. I really like Jakob, and I thought that memory about him being so distant really well done. Sad, but totally on par. Something kind of base (the bits of false German I remember, and god, I hope you forgive me because I feel like it's nitpicking- I'm bilingual, and I think people need to loosen up with the German (it is NOT freakin rocket science) but any "Muttersprachler" would want your head, so...) 1. The word is "verführerisch", or "verlockend",not "verfuhrend" and "enticing" is used more in the "seductive" way in German. 2. "Es tut mir leid" does not mean "it brings me pain." It means "I'm sorry." 3. "Will you forgive her" is "Wirst du ihr vergeben?" 4."I believe so" is "Ich glaube SCHON" 5. "Ich wusste es nicht" is "I didn't know" 6."Was wirst du tun? weglaufen? Zu deinem unterirdischen Schloss?" |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow this is great I'm a complete moron if I haven't found this yet. I love this two couples having some issue's in relations. The really cool thing is you started "Breaking Cadence" on my birthday. Anyways great job! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I sure hope you continue with this. It's awesome. |