Omg that was a really intetesting read, Im impressed by how well you say a story throuh poetry, the rhime was really enjoyable too! Thank you

Good flow through the whole story.
And you have a quite wide range of language.
Nothing really there to criticize your story for.

Didn't you get depressed while writing it? I mean it's quite dark.

Amazing writing skills by the way )

Wow...you are amazing!

This seems like a very sing-songy way of writing when your subject matter is so dark. The poem doesn't flow all the time either, having awkward trails leading to the end of your line. Try changing line 8's "of" to "and." Also, in line 12 you might want to take out the "of." That way you'll also have seven syllables. Don't get me wrong, I like this poem, especially as as I keep rereading, it's growing on me.

Wait... I'm done? Nooo!
Update! :) ... Please?

I love this 33

This story is the best thing I've read in a while now:)

This makes me feel sad:(

This is so beautiful I'm compelled to review every chapter.

Ahh.. I love this!

Still wow!

Wow!

This is actually really beautiful, I love it.

This story is cool :]

I hope you update soon.