|Reviews for Strong|
| queenvixta chapter 1 . 4/2/2005
It's cool to see you doing a song. I like the whole idea of it, some of the rhyming isn't as strong as usual but I like the chorus. Very deep. QueenVixta
| angel of sorrow n darkness chapter 1 . 9/26/2004
this was good I liked it
| VelvetTears chapter 1 . 8/31/2003
oh my jesus christ. i love your writing. lol god its just so moving. i sang this one too. jez i loved it.
im definitally showing your poems to my friends that go to im sure my friend katty would freak out as much as i am about ur poetry. god i love it. WRITE MORE. lol bai baiz
| swirlygirl chapter 1 . 8/30/2003
i thought you said this was terrible..i thought it was pretty darn good...the rhythym was a little off but other than that it was a really good attempt.
| BadGirlz4Life chapter 1 . 8/27/2003
thats great...it tells how someone feels like me! lol j/k
| yellow sparks chapter 1 . 8/7/2003
A song is a really hard thing to write. And to read on something like this, because you can't hear the melody. But the message was there, and I liked it alot.
| TomAfton chapter 1 . 8/5/2003
In this review, I'm disregarding the words themselves. I would only suggest adding a bridge to compensate for the back and forth pattern of the verses and the chorus.
| Sarah chapter 1 . 8/4/2003
You have nice progression through the verses (you tell us a little more about the relationship with each one, and don't repeat the same old thing) but the meter is all over the place. It's a lot easier to put things to music if each verse has the same number of lines, the same number of syllables in each line, and the same rhyme scheme. Also, you should try to keep the length of the lines consistent. If one line has 7 syllables, don't have ten in the line that rhymes with it. (I am, of course, assuming that you don't really have any concrete musical ideas for this. If the irregularities are here for a reason, I apologize.)
I'm not terribly happy with "if all we needed was love/then we'd be soaring as high as a dove" but I appreciate the difficulties of finding a rhyme. Many songs have worse. I happen to be the Rhyme Nazi, so I'm terribly picky about these things. In the future, rhyme dictionaries are your friends! You can find some great websites online! Also, don't be afraid to reorder the words so you get more interesting rhymes, or use words that only sort-of rhyme (like fluff and love - it sounds like a rhyme when you sing it!)
As for the song overall, it's a trite but true sentiment. It seems that 90 percent of the songs out there today are about relationships and broken hearts. However, those are things everyone goes through. A relationship song is a good place for a beginner to start because they will immediately find an audience who has been there, done that, and is supportive of your pain.
| Twisted Illusion chapter 1 . 7/31/2003
that was your first song? Damn! Much better than my first song! Dont apologize, no matter how bad it is, thats one of the good things I learned from my drama teacher, if people cant accept it for what it is, screw em (well she didnt word it quite like that, lol, but I think you get the idea) Oh and about my poem "Bloody Tears" Just the whole thing with that was that she didnt want him to leave at all, I dunno, its not one of my better poems, lol.