|Reviews for Black Sheep Parable of the Apostor|
| got rice chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
The thing is, I don't really think your writing is good.
I mean, it doesn't flow that well, and most of your endings are too abrupt. Some of your sentence structure needs work, and you need to put more detail into your stories.
But even though your writing isn't good, it doesn't mean you aren't a good writer.
I love how you're able to look at the world, dream up ways to describe it, and actually put it down on paper. It's hot. And even though your writing technique is a little flawed, you'll get over it. If you keep practicing, the little things like sentence structure and flow will eventually fall into place.
writing is not that great. you're a great proud.
I hope I didn't make you suicidal or whatever with the way I started my review. Sorry about your life. Your dad seems really weird. It gets better though. :)
| Hyacinthe Wing chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
We create our chains. Truth is in the eye of the beholder, as is beauty, as is reality. Your father is afraid of something. To keep you from discovering his weakness, he does his best to be God in your eyes, a wrathful and punishing God you will never, ever question, and never, ever betray. His false face has kept you from abandoning him so far. In order to discover who he really is, the facade he hides behind - Protector, Leader, Father - must be broken, and he must admit to his flaws and pain. He seeks in you what was sought from him; because he was forced into the bridle and bit of a forbidding religion, and because he has repressed his pain, he seeks to rid himself of the wounds by taking them out of himself and giving them to you. Don't let him fool chains are born from your own fear and the bleak world you see is a result of the blinders you have bitterly accepted. You don't have to live like that. If you threw down the blinders you might be able to see the ones who are like you. You might be able to see Wing is my penname on this site. You are welcome to hide inside the stories I tell, if you wish. I won't give you .-Hyacinthe
| Nemo chapter 1 . 6/5/2006
i never really thought about it that way. . . .but i like it. I'd really like to see you expand on this.-
| Elewyn chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
I thought apostasy was a Scientology word? Ah, well...this is short, but nicely written. I like that you stick with one metaphor and don't jump around too much. And does Catholic really mean universal? I never knew that...
| J. N. Laerasyn chapter 1 . 12/8/2005
You are good at playing with words and concepts and giving them multiple meanings... and also with using sarcasm to your advantage in writing. Very good writing style. The content is very heartfelt and full of raw honesty as well- I like that. :-) Sounds like you've been burned badly by the catholic church- I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway, I think this peice has sparked some curiosity in me. I'm very interested to read more of your work... I would like to understand better whether your bitterness is directed at just the church, or God himself, or both... So then, onward I go
| Thorn's-girl chapter 1 . 8/28/2005
Fire and brimstone of righteousness? nah...not catholic...this really made me think. Thank you. You put a really interesting twist on that, and now i want to read your bio and find out why. WEll written, too, i might add
| Plastick Haruka chapter 1 . 6/17/2005
I can honestly relate. Oh to be around a bunch of self-righteous Catholics. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed to be Catholic, but sometimes people can be a bit too concentrated into religious dogma and ceremony that they forget the actual meaning of the religion. Plus, I really really hate hypocrites...
| Yuri Kamishuro chapter 1 . 4/5/2005
To follow the flock is a choice. A poor one, but one that is made anyway. People don't read things that are deep. And when you speak bluntly, people lose interest.
| Arrow Windwhistler chapter 1 . 3/30/2005
apostor: A spelling mistake?
I don't know anyone who feels that way and is Catholic. I certainly don't...what is it that makes you feel that way?
| jaderook chapter 1 . 3/28/2005
Hmm, walking the fine line between unbeliever and conformist. I do wonder if it would just be Catholicism that you would reject or the Christian faith altogether. Or do *you* even know? Perhaps you'd just like the opportunity to discover that for yourself, eh? It was a very nice, concise rant. You said everything that you needed to without extra fluff.
I can certainly relate. I long ago stopped letting others dictate the moors of my faith. Once, I thought it was Christianity that I was rejecting, but it wasn't. I simply rejected the followers and decided that Christ was much more worthy of my time than they were.
| Head or Tales chapter 1 . 1/22/2005
This is short... but amazing. Really... nice job...
| Cici Dash chapter 1 . 12/10/2004
I know how you feel. This is why having your own sence of faith is important. I've never been big on communal religion. Especially if the flock turns to someone who is the devil in saint's clothing (I wrote a poem about that actually). Keep writing and don't like people bring you down :)
| yakana chapter 1 . 9/23/2004
This is extremely well written. It's a little short, but I understand that very emotional pieces do sometimes have to be to get the message across without spoiling its worth. I don't understand why anyone would find it offensive, but, then again, I'm not Catholic and I also thought that no Mormons would be offended by Only Joseph.
Once again, well done.
| Love Star chapter 1 . 8/25/2004
I understand. This is a very good metaphor. Thank you.
| Rach chapter 1 . 8/17/2004
HI!. um very intresting with a bot of humor too good work
keep it up
um no offene but I have a cathioc grandma and I don't belive in some stuff like the trinity that has always confused me I mean how can you end up being your own son
that's my view anyway good work