|Reviews for The Grand Quest|
| Evil Sorceress chapter 23 . 8/13/2010
Okay, first of all, I absolutely loved this stroy, yet you could have spaced iy out a little more, pressing enter to make more sense. Yet, this is still a very good read and it has some humour in it to.
I loved this part (SPOILER):
The power of the Yoiwid went forward like a ripple on the water. Before Miree and everyone else, the Hiofur and Pdnio army dissolved into dust and ash.
Everything was silent for a long time.
| Memrat chapter 1 . 1/30/2009
I just beat DragonQuest4 and I must have another fantasy story to keep me quelled until DragonQuest5 comes out. AND THIS IS PERFECT! I LOVE ELVES! I will read every chapter and review!
| Anareth chapter 5 . 2/18/2008
"Of course you can!" cried Wiyla. "I'll admit, neither Joseph nor Nioew were very powerful, but they were both magicians, and everyone knows magic is inherited."
Well, at least you know that neither is supposed to be paired with nor. That alone is enough to make me want to read the rest. Much better than some authors who don't even use spell check. (Not mentioning any names here, because I hate lawsuits.)
| Lara Bykirk chapter 24 . 11/29/2003
Over all, this was a good story. The ending did seem a little rushed, however-just one battle, and then everything was all right? The characters could have done with a little more characterization throughout the course of the story as well. Other than that, however, good job!
| Lara Bykirk chapter 20 . 11/25/2003
It's a little too late, seeing that Tiq is dead, but I'd like to warn you against one-dimensional villains. Why is Psieogriv so evil? Just for the fun of it? Are any of the elves the least bit kind? More variety will make a more interesting tale.
| Lara Bykirk chapter 17 . 11/21/2003
I liked this chapter. The battle scene was very realistic, and the further splitting of the group lent further interest and suspense. Good job!
| Lara Bykirk chapter 12 . 11/21/2003
I don't get it. You never really explain why Miree would have feelings for Qinyf. I mean, it isn't a gradual thing, nor do you say when she first sees him that he's really hot or anyhting. It doesn't make sense.
| Lara Bykirk chapter 5 . 11/21/2003
I just have one quick comment. Well, two actually. One, you keep talking about LLilil's restrictiveness, but you never show him being restictive. he barely met Miree. Second, the quest sounds like it will be very exciting. Good work! the conflict with the arranged marriage could turn out to be interesting.
| Lara Bykirk chapter 3 . 11/21/2003
This is an exciting chapter, but there are a few logical discrepancies. First, Miree asks a jumble of questions, but there is now guarantee that the elves will be able to answer-how does she know that they're connected to the captuers? Second, all the explaining is rather abrupt, and not that surprising. There isn't aany cushioning to make the news that Miree is the Empress surprising to the reader. Third, be careful to give Miree faults. They don't have to be major, but they would go a long way in adding personality and intrest.
| Lara Bykirk chapter 1 . 11/21/2003
Hi! Thanks for reviewing "Letters". I'm its co-author, and the one who wrote the first chapter. Your story seems good so far. Miree looks like she'll be a very likable character. I just have a few suggestions. First, you might want to save some of the story about Miree's childhood for subsequent chapters. Giving it all at once might bore the readers. Second, go into more detail about her childhood, what she looked like, what her captors were like, etc. Other than that, very good!
| u.g chapter 12 . 11/12/2003
Miree has a serious problem.
| Third chapter 1 . 9/12/2003
This is really fast, and it dosen't have much description on the characters or the setting.
| dances with penguins chapter 24 . 8/23/2003
that's it? It's a nice ending but it was pretty abrupt. I thought for sure that they would have many more encounters with the Hiofur and Pdnio...thus many more chapters. I guess I'm just disappointed that it ended so soon. Suppose I'll have to find a new story to attach myself to. Nonetheless, you did a fantastic job. Write on.
| dances with penguins chapter 23 . 8/22/2003
| Kell Hound chapter 22 . 8/21/2003
great job keep writing